When Did it Matter
by Dysfunctional Serenity
Summary: When Shiro's brought back, will he be able to live with what he had done? Rated M for a reason, warnings inside. GrimmIchi, ShiroIchi, ShiroOri, and ShiroUlqui
1. Return of the Lost

Ok this just came to me one night as I like to say, "Hit me in the face in the form of a pie!" ...you'll hear me say that a lot. This is the fourth story I'm working on... though only one of them are up and the other one is just a re-do of one I had up before but uh... no pies have hit me for that one so uh... yeah... anyway, I hope you enjoy! ^-^ Oh by the way, before I forge... I forgot...

Warnings: Rated M for a reason! Yaoi, lemon, incest, cutting, character death... and rape ^-^  
>*face-palms you* You've been warned!<p>

Secret: Me and my friend contestantnumber2 (who has been a **_HUGE_** help in this) have cloned four Bleach characters for this fan fic and everyone else just wasn't important enough. I won't spoil too much, I'll slowly give you more info on this secret every chapter. I've taken too much of your time. *bows* I am truly sorry.

Disclaimer: (I don't own Breath nor do I own Breaking Benjamin) What are you sane? Of course I own Bleach!  
>Ichi: *sighs, rubbing temples* Please don't mind her, she's insane...<br>Grimm: *wraps an arm around Ichi's shoulders* Yeah, she can't handle all this sexiness heheheh...  
>Me: Shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't wanna hear it! I'll show you all! *laughs hysterically, running in circles*<br>Ichi: ...do you think we should put her back in the straight jacket before she hurts someone again?  
>Grimm: ...yeah... probably...<p>

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><p>Shiro sighed, sitting on the couch of his old unchanged home. His father had run off to call his brother and tell him that he had just come home, like he had asked the moment he walked through the door and it was just being done an hour and a half later. Ichigo, his twin brother was the only person he cared for in the world and he refused to deal with any other person unless Ichigo asked him too. Shiro had left with a nineteen year old when they were fifteen when their mother died and he made Ichigo swear that he would keep it a secret but they had been in contact a after the first few months because with how close they were, suddenly being apart was too much to bear. And now, four years later, he was back... though he would never call it home. No place could ever be his home. Ichigo was his home and that's all he needed.<p>

The white haired teen had never wanted to leave his twin but he hated seeing the berry so hurt and had taken the coward way out by leaving though he would have preferred to kill himself. The white being had been suicidal ever since he could remember but he just couldn't hurt Ichigo like that. He never really had any reason to be suicidal at all, he just hated life itself and that was all the reason he ever need. He was never close with his mother-any of his family for that matter though they seemed close to him. He continuously pushed them away, only allowing Ichigo in but the others always came back.

"Alright he said he'd be right over." Isshin sang happily, coming back into the room to sit next to his boy who scouted a bit away. "He actually didn't let me finish. The moment your name and home were said, he said he'd be right over." the teen growled at the older man's cheerful voice and stood up, glad to get away from him.

"Well I'm gonna go take a shower, it's been a long day." he said quickly making his away upstairs to avoid the old man's answer. His two younger sisters were said to be at a friend's house but would be back before dinner. Stepping into the bathroom, the white headed teen turned on the hot water and stripped himself of all his clothes before stepping into the tub and closing the curtain. He knew Ichigo would interrupt his shower but he didn't care, he didn't really need to bathe anyway he had had a shower just before coming here but he needed and excuse to get away from his father.

The shower was hot enough to turn his white skin red though he felt it could still be hotter. Sitting down, he turned it up slightly, his skin slowly turning a brighter red though he didn't feel any pain. He laid back against the tub, the water hitting his chest and stomach. He closed his eyes and began to sing a few of his favorite songs so that his mind wouldn't be completely engulfed in anxiety. He had made it through three songs already and was half way through the four when he realized that he was singing his and Ichigo's song. He just smiled, remembering that they had worked for years as kids to perfect their own dance for it which Ichigo had told him that he still remembered.

"You take the breath right out of me. You left a hole where my heart should be. You got to fight just to make it through..." he thought of Ichigo and his smile widened. "'Cause I will be the death of you." just then he heard the front door open and slam shut followed by hurried footsteps coming up the stairs. He chuckled, waiting for the door to open and felt his heart beat faster when it finally did.

"Shiro..." Ichigo panted and said teen noticed just how much he missed that voice. He pulled the shower curtain open and gave a lazy wave to the berry standing in the doorway.

"Oi what's up berry boy?" he greeted and Ichigo walked over just as Shiro expected.

"Holy fuck, is the water really that-" Shiro grabbed his arm and pulled him down, ignoring the slight pain from his body landing on top of his own. He wrapped his arms around Ichigo's neck, holding him in place, glad to finally be able to hold him again. "Ow ow ow fuck! Shiro let go-it's hot!" remembering that his brother didn't share his craving for heat, he let the struggling teen in his arms go who quickly turned around to turn the water off before sighing and turning back to his twin.

"Sorry..." Shiro said, smiling apologetically but Ichigo just shook his head.

"It's fine, just next time you know I'm coming... turn the water down please." Shiro just nodded before cupping a hand around the back of Ichigo's neck to pull him down to press their lips together and Ichigo supported, attacking the others lips hungrily.

"I missed you." Shiro managed to say in between kisses.

"I've missed you so much... please don't ever leave me again." Ichigo pleaded sadly and Shiro promised that he wouldn't.

"I won't... never again... I promise. Did you..." the white skinned teen, pulling away momentarily to look at the closed door. "Did you lock the door?"

"Oh sorry I didn't. I was too busy being pulled into a too fucking hot shower."

"Stop treating me like the bad guy, I'm older." Shiro said before teasingly licking the shell of his ear. "I said I was sorry didn't I?" Ichigo shuddered before quickly getting out of the tub. Shiro cussed at him for leaving him but he followed, grabbing a towel and dried Ichigo's hair as he began to take his wet clothes off spare for his black boxer briefs that had managed to stay dry. The older of the twins locked the door before standing back to watch the sexy show. Seeing that Shiro was watching him, he threw the towel on his head at him before turning around, placing his hands on the wall like he was being arrested. "How bad's my back?" Shiro looked at it, carefully running his hands along it's slightly redden surface.

"Not bad..." he pressed himself against his berry's body, running his hands up and down his torso as he placed gentle kisses on his neck. "I know you'll tell me to wait since we're at dad's place but we both know that I'll eventually get my way so can we just cut to the chase?" he asked, slipping one hand into Ichigo's shorts, slowly massaging his limp cock.

"S-Shiro no..." he objected though made no move to stop him. Someone tried to come in and Shiro quickly pulled away from his berry, upset at the interruption.

"Ichigo your sisters are back!" Isshin sang happily from the other side of the door, hinting that he hadn't told them that Shiro was here yet.

"Kay dad, we'll be out in a minute!" Shiro shouted angrily, hearing the older man walk off, crying over how his sons were so mean to him. "Damn it..." Ichigo, who had calmed down, turned around to wrap his arms around the others neck.

"I know you were never close to anyone in the family but please act like it for tonight."

"Not close to them? Ichigo, I hate them. They're not my family. You are. Only you. You're all I'll ever need." Shiro replied almost desperately before kissing him again. Their tongues collided, Shiro's instantly taking top because they both knew that he was the dominate male in this relationship.

"Shiro... family's... waiting."

"Who cares, I've got you." Ichigo suddenly pushed him away but held onto his shoulders.

"You can have me later at my house but right now, there are two thirteen year olds downstairs waiting to see their oldest brother for the first time in years so will you please go see them?" Shiro looked down, not wanting to. "Please?" the dark berry growled but nodded and they both quickly dressed, Ichigo having to borrow some of Shiro's clothes since he didn't bring any. Shiro couldn't help but to grab his berry just before his pants got over his hips but his hand was quickly slapped away by a red faced Ichigo, earning a chuckle from his brother.

"Girls look who I have!" Ichigo called happily, dragging Shiro down the stairs behind him who looked upset but waved at the two teenage girls when they stopped.

"Hichigo!" Yuzu exclaimed, rushing to get her brother into her arms.

"Yeah uh... hi... Yuzu... Karin..." he greeted though never looked at either of them. Karin seemed to not want anything to do with the white haired teen though he couldn't give a rat's ass but he didn't like how Yuzu seemed to have enough care and happiness for both of them. Dinner was at least a little quieter than he had expected, he sat next to Ichigo with their chairs nearly touching like they used to have them. Everyone figured that they would have grown out of this now that they were both nineteen now but just decided that it was because they missed each other. This was true but it was mostly so that Shiro could tease his berry underneath the table. Ichigo would jump in surprise and would be left to make up some excuse as to why he did as his twin just laughed.

After dinner, they watched old recordings of the family. Shiro laughed when Ichigo laughed, just to make it seem like he was making an effort but he was too lost in his thoughts of what he would do to his berry the moment they got to his house.

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><p>Sorry about the shortness but I got so caught up in ideas for other chapters that I can't think of the beginning so if the next chapter seems rushed... it's cuz it was. But chapter three is where things heat up so it won't be too long of a wait and suckishness. But I hope it was good enough to-Thank you! That was it! I was gonna say thanks to contestantnumer2... THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who read this as well and please review, I like hearing your thoughts-yes YOURS. No one's but yours. So please... *teary chibi eyes* don't leave me alone... I love you all and will see you next chapter! XD<p> 


	2. Something That Could Have Been

Ok so this chapter was indeed rushed but I tried to write it as thoroughly as I could so yeah, I just really, really, really wanna get in to the later chapters. I'm not usually in a hurry cuz I've never been able to jump around with a story I always _had_ to start beginning to end but with this one's just been so amazingly crazy.

_**IMPORTANT!**__** Please read!**_ Due to a new idea (sorry to do this) but I have to change the age of the Kurosaki girls, they're not 13 anymore (sorry) they're 9... you don't like it? Eat it XP You'll all love what happens later, this story will be amazing and if you don't think so then screw you cuz I do and so does my wonderful friend contestantnumber2 who I want to thank again for all of your help-THANK YOU!

Secret: Kay well as you know, we cloned four characters for this fic... here's your... Chapter Secret! *does a little chibi dance* Three are boys and one is a girl. Can you guess who they are? The first person who can guess all four, will win a special sneak peek into the next chapter-and trust me that's where it gets good... contestantnumber2 you can't enter in this cuz you already know who they are and what's gonna happen so give someone else a chance.

Disclaimer: I do not own Breath or Breaking Benjamin... *whispers* But I do own Bleach-  
>Grimm: No you don't.<br>Me: Shut up Grimm-nobody loves you!  
>Ichi: *slowly raises hand* I do...<br>Shiro: No you don't.  
>Ichi: *puts hand down, looking down sadly*<br>Me: *laughs, pointing at Ichi*

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><p>Ichigo groaned as he woke from sleep due to his ringing phone. He leaned over the side of the bed to grab the pants he was wearing last night, pulling his phone out of the pocket before answering it with a sleepy greeting.<p>

"Ya coming hiking with us today or not?" Grimmjow's voice sounded angry on the other end of the line. Ichigo's eyes widened as he looked at the clock, realizing that he was half an hour late. He and his friends had planned on going hiking up the mountains today and they were all supposed to meet at Grimmjow's place at 8:30 it was a little passed 9:00 now. He jumped out of bed, throwing on some tan shorts and a white T-shirt, now glad that he had convinced Shiro to take a shower with him before they went to bed. Round one, in the hallway and on the bed, round two in the shower and Shiro said that when they woke up, they were going for round three.

"Sorry something came up and I completely forgot, give me twenty minutes and I'll be there." he rushed.

"You better be." the grumpy blunet growled before hanging up.

"Geez a 'good bye, I'll see you in a bit' would be nice ya prick." he walked into the bathroom, to brush his teeth and make sure his hair wasn't too messy. He was glad that he had at least finished packing before his father had called, to tell him that Shiro had come home, speaking of which... he leaned back to see his dark berry still asleep on his bed, the sheets only covering one of his legs. He walked over, sitting next to him and placing a hand gently on his shoulder. "Shiro... Shiro come on get up, we're going hiking with the group." he groaned in response, rolling over so that his back was to him.

"Nuh-uh... I ain't apart of that group, I hate em all. Sides round three's gotta take place and I'm sure that ya wouldn't want all your friends to see now would ya?" Shiro teased, sounding fully wake regardless of have just woken up... or had he been awake this whole time?

"Come on Shiro, they loved you and I'm sure that they'd love to see you again." he leaned down to lick the shell of his ear and kiss his neck. "If you come with me without being obvious about us then we'll have round three when we get back. Promise." the elder twin growled but got up to get dressed. Ichigo smirked and continued to get ready himself.

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><p>Both berries made their way down halls of an apartment to someone's room that they were meeting at with Shiro asking why they all just didn't live together and save a lot of money. Ichigo answered that they wanted their own privacy, reminding him that if he didn't have his own place, that they wouldn't be able to have sex or even play at all... his dark berry shut up after that.<p>

Ichigo walked into one of the rooms and before he was even able to notice that two people were about to kick him, Shiro was in front of him, holding both offending limbs.

"S-Shiro?" Renji asked as said person dropped his and a tall blue haired man's legs. The two had teamed up to surprise him, punishment to making them all late.

"Surprise..." Ichigo said, walking passed the three to greet the others. Shiro sighed as he started guessing what each person would do to him. Rukia punched him in the gut before hugging him, saying that she had missed him. Shiro wanted to kill her and Renji too when he did the same though didn't hug him but Ichigo begged him to just take it for now. Yoruichi and the man Shiro didn't know just stood there, the blunet watched him while the other didn't.

Yoruichi knew that Shiro didn't like anyone near him so she was just giving him space, she'd probably greet him later when things calmed down. Shiro liked that about her and out of everyone here other than Ichi, he could tolerate her the most and in some cases was glad that she was there-he wasn't saying that he didn't hate her but she just seemed to understand him.

He learned that Renji and Rukia had gotten together so too had Yoruichi and Nel who was currently crushing him in her giant boobs... not that he minded that last part. Ichigo had told him that he was buddied with Grimmjow to keep an eye on him. He guessed that Grimmjow was the blunet since he was the only one left, he must have been added to the group while he was gone.

"Ichi... Ichi help me!" Shiro called from inside Nel's chest. Ichigo quickly pulled Nel off him and he held the wall gasping for air. "What the... what the Hell have you two been eating? When I seen you last, you were both still flatter than a fucking board!" he directed his speech to Nel and Yoruichi before looking at Rukia. "Well at least you're still the same-gah!" that had earned him another punch by both her and Renji. "Yup... good to know no one's changed..." he groaned, rubbing his stomach. Today was going to be long.

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><p>Shiro sighed deeply, he felt so awkward here. Everyone seemed to want everything to do with him, asking where he had gone and what he had been doing but he didn't want to answer and it royally pissed him off that they wouldn't shut up. He just wanted to be left alone. He hated everyone other than his berry and he wasn't allowed to touch him while they were in public because knowing him, he would get carried away but that didn't stop him from staying by his side. Grimmjow seemed to be close to Ichigo... too close. And he wasn't just being jealous-that was beside the point, he stayed close to him and grabbed at his hand time to time. Ichigo would refuse his hand of course but when they stopped, the blunet pulled <em>his<em> berry into his arms and the dark berry nearly attacked him. He growled, glaring at the blue haired man as he stepped closer but Ichigo shoved Grimmjow away and stopped his darkness. Shiro was Ichigo's darkness and Ichigo was Shiro's light.

"Will Shiro please tell Nel where he's been?" Nel asked, tailing him. He turned on the green haired women furiously.

"Will you _all_ just shut the fuck up? I'm sick and tired of saying this! **_NO_**! I will _not_ tell you where I've been because it's none of yer god damn business! I will punch the next person who brings it up-got it?" he yelled, directing his speech to everyone and they objected, telling him to calm down.

"You guys know Shiro and know that he's serious so please just shut up about it okay? He'll tell you when he's ready." Ichigo defended, looking to protect everyone from getting hurt. It was quiet for a little bit as Ichigo pulled Shiro to continue on. No one spoke for awhile, just listened to Ichigo as he tried to clam his brother but it wasn't long before they all started chatting among themselves again. "Shiro just calm down, you know you don't have to answer."

"I know I don't and I won't but they just won't shut the Hell up about it no matter how many times I say no. It just pisses me off especially with Rukia's nagging over it."

"Excuse me? Nagging? Well I'm not sure where you've been all this time but here, we don't treat friends like that." Rukia said angrily. Shiro growled, clenching his fists just at the sound of her voice but he didn't turn around.

"Well I guess I wouldn't know..." he slightly turned to show her his glare. "You're not my friend." her eyes slightly widen though it wasn't a surprise.

"Hey you don't say shit like that and get away with it." Grimmjow growled, grabbing his shoulder tightly. Shiro grabbed his hand and twisted it until Grimmjow was on his knees in front of him as they glared daggers directly into each other.

"Don't you _ever_ touch me again." he growled.

"Shiro knock it off." Ichigo warned but he only twisted the blunet's arm further, making him grunt in pain. "Shiro stop it." he said a bit louder. Shiro growled loudly but didn't want to let go. "Shiro!" the darkness raised his fist to hit Grimmjow but someone grabbed his arm so he turned to punch them instead, his fist coming in contact with Renji's jaw, sending him stumbling back. All the girl's just watched, waiting to see who would win. More arms sudden wrapped around each of his, trapping them.

"Miss me?" Grimmjow mocked. When had he let go of him? When he punched Renji maybe? But this blue haired man seemed to know how to play his type of game and decided to play back, this and many other games relating to it had always belonged to him. They were all _his_ games. That was all it took to trigger him. The darkness smirked before throwing his head back, not sure of what he made contact with but did. Grimmjow stumbled but didn't release his grip.

"Hm... yer pretty tough ain't ya Kitty?" he hummed, starting to get excited. Ichigo sighed, knowing that now he was going he wasn't going to stop. Before the blunet had time to respond, his feet were knocked out from under him but instead of just hitting the ground, he was thrown over Shiro's shoulder and into Renji. Ichigo ran between them, holding his arms out, facing Grimmjow and Renji.

"That's enough! He'll win, I promise you so just stop!" he turned slightly to see Shiro calmly walking closer still with that blood thirsty glare. "Shiro stop it! I said that's enough!" Ichigo yelled at him and he stopped directly in front of the boy who had turned around to face him.

"Now now Ichi, ya wouldn't wanna ruin the fun now would ya?"

"Actually if it saves my friends from getting hurt, then yes I would. Please Shiro I'm asking you to stop." Shiro's look was unchanged though he made no move of objection before finally turning around and continuing along the trail.

"What a waste..." he tsked in disappointment as he walked off. He'd teach that bastard a lesson... no one touched him and sure as Hell no one... _no one_... touched his berry.

"He's just upset, please don't mind him." Ichigo pleaded.

"Don't worry, we know how he is and we've learned to not let it get to us." Yoruichi reassured the berry and everyone else nodded, knowing she was right but Grimmjow just glared after him. "I'll talk to him, I've been needing to." the determined girl said, going after Shiro.

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><p>"Shiro? Shiro are you okay?" she asked, coming up to where she had last seen the darkness.<p>

"Over here Yoru..." Shiro called, waving one of his hands where she could see it. He was sitting on a fallen tree with his back to her and his head in his hands.

"Are you alright?" she asked, sitting next to him and placing a hand on his back. He would have normally shoved her away and yelled at her to never touch him again but he felt relieved for some reason that she was here rather than Ichi. The berry was acting so weird and he didn't like it.

"Not really. Ichigo's changed... he's not acting like himself and I don't like it one bit. That Grimmjow bastard pisses me off more than anyone-even more than Nel or Rukia." why was he telling her this? The purple haired woman took no offense to what he said about Nel, the girl's hyper active personality got on her nerves too.

"It's very easy to get on Grimm's bad side but there's good in him too-"

"Okay really, I don't want you to try and make us friends or anything alright?" Shiro snapped. "Just... I'll figure it out." they sat in an awkward silence for awhile, Shiro rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "How are things going with you and Nel?"

"Great for her I guess..." she sighed, unsure if he really wanted to hear.

"And for you?" he pressed, interested though he knew he shouldn't be.

"Well... I don't know... we've just kinda lost our spark. But I'm afraid that if I break up with her, she'll stop smiling and it'll be all my fault. It's... it's kind of hard to explain..." she looked down as a few tears slowly escaped her eyes. Shiro sighed, running a hand through his hair before turning toward her and taking the crying girl into his arms. He didn't want to be doing this but he couldn't help it, he didn't want to see her so sad. He had turned his back on everyone else who came crying to him so why was she any different? She turned into him, crying into his chest. "I just... feel like I have no choice..." Shiro looked down at her in understanding, sadness, and concern though she couldn't see it.

"Everyone has a choice Yoruichi..." he held her tighter, burying his face in her hair as he tried to convince himself that it wasn't because he cared. "Everyone has a choice." a single tear escaped his own eye but remained unnoticed by either of them.

"Shiro?" Yoruichi asked after a few minutes, looking up to see him and he moved his head from her's to her shoulder.

"Hm?" he replied tiredly, feeling as though he might fall asleep. He looked down at her and she pulled him down a little bit to try and bring their lips together but just as they were about to meet, he pulled his head away. He wanted to kiss her but he was with Ichi and wasn't about to betray him.

"I'm... I'm sorry, I'm uh... you're with Nel."

"But I don't want to be with Nel I want to be with you." she sobbed into his chest, gripping his shirt tightly. "I love _you_ Shiro... not Nel." Shiro's eyes widened in shock, he had never heard those words from anyone but Ichi and he never _wanted_ to hear them from anyone else.

"I..." he sighed. "I'm sorry but I won't be apart of you cheating on her and I don't want this to ruin how you-" he stopped when lips were suddenly pressed to his. His wide eyes slowly closed as he leaned into the kiss. Ichigo's saddened voice echoed in his head and he pushed Yoruichi away. "Yoruichi I said no!"

"Hey are you two alright? No fighting!" Rukia shouted to them from the trail where they were taking a break.

"Come on you two we gotta get moving." Ichigo called and Shiro got up and followed his voice.

"We'll talk about this later." Shiro tried to say calmly but it came out a growl. She nodded and followed.

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><p>The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful and the ride home was silent but Shiro was so glad that it was just the two of them again.<p>

"Ichi? There's something I need to tell you." Shiro said as they walked into the house. "Me and Yoruichi uh... kinda kissed."

"You what?" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"Well no, she kissed me but I pushed her away. I'm sorry I wasn't able to stop it and I'm really sorry that it even happened but it wasn't my fault." Shiro corrected and defended himself. Ichigo sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration but wrapped his arms around Shiro's neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

"I know it wasn't your fault Shiro. But I am going to go talk to Yoruichi, it's not right for her to be cheating on Nel with my Shiro." he said walking back over to the door.

"Ok but don't give us away." the dark berry chuckled sitting on the couch. About half an hour after Ichigo had left, he was still just sitting there, wondering what had happened to the boy. He still needed his round three and he was very quickly losing his patience.

"Why not while you're waiting for berry, you go pay Kitty a visit?" he began talking to himself.

"Hm... not a bad idea... I'm down. Let's go." he replied to himself, standing up and leaving the house. He wouldn't be stopped this time.

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><p>Well uh... things are about to get hot and if ya can't tell then you're probably like me, your brain has turned to mush so you drained it out and filled your head with chocolate pudding but you forgot the lock combination to it so now it sits there in your head mocking you but you cant eat it T-T<p>

...uh... yeah... see ya next chapter which is done but I'm gonna do some more editing on it and wait a few days to post it.


	3. When Darkness Strikes

Ok uh... not really sure of what to say but uh... yeah... I'll just be pretty straight forward and blunt with this chapter... I love it if you don't then screw you. Thank you contestantnumber2 and yes I will acknowledge her in every chapter that she helps with and so far, that's all of them.

Warnings have been stated, if you don't remember then go back to the first chapter and read them there.

Secret: Ok for you eager peoplez (and yes my favorite letter is Z) ... here. Is. Your. Chapter Secret! You've already met three of the clones (they're not really clones in the story) but one you have not. Heheheh... have fun with that. The challenge is the same since I posted again so soon though I guess I'll throw a little something in along with that. Hm... identify the ages of all the Kurosaki kids. Have fun X3

Disclaimer: I own Bleach-  
>Shiro: *hits me on the head* No you don't! Now repeat after me... I... do... <em>not<em>... own... Bleach...  
>Me: I... do... not... own... Breath... or Breaking Benjamin *smiles*<br>Shiro: *face palms*

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><p>The dark berry chuckled as the door came unlocked and he stepped into Grimmjow's apartment. He was gonna teach this bastard a lesson. No one touched his Ichi without his permission, not like he'd ever give it anyway. He heard moans of pleasure coming from down the hall and followed them.<p>

"Oh so the bastard's got a bitch hm... when I'll just kill them while I'm at it shall I? Can't have any witnesses..." he was about to walk in when he heard the pleasured scream of someone cumming, yelling out Grimmjow's name. He froze. He would recognize that scream anywhere... his hand trembled on the doorknob as he tried to breathe. He no longer wanted to step in, afraid of what he knew he'd find. It sounded like they were still going at it, he guessed Grimmjow hadn't yet cum. He knew he had to walk in right then, to stop Grimmjow from cumming inside his berry.

"Wha… what a-are you d-doing?" Shiro asked as he walked in, even more hurt at the sight.

"S-Shiro!" Ichigo stuttered from under Grimmjow. Shiro didn't move, afraid that if he did, he'd beat both of them to death. He couldn't believe what he was seeing... his berry... his Ichigo... laying under another man who was still in him. Ichigo pushed Grimmjow off of him, gasping as the blunet's member was forced out of him. Ichigo rushed over to him with shaky legs, trying to get him to understand but he just refused to listen. He shouldn't have to, all of his words were just lies.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't want to-"

"Why? Why the Hell not?" the dark berry shouted, his anger flaring.

"Because I didn't want to hurt you! I figured if everyone would keep quiet, I could avoid this…" he looked down, his eyes watering. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt him and he hated himself for doing so after promising that he wouldn't. "I just didn't want to hurt you Shiro..."

"You've already done that Ichi..." said teen looked up at him, now crying. "You've already done that..."

"How the Hell do you get in here? I know that I locked the-" Shiro punched Grimmjow as hard as he could as the blunet walked over after putting his pants on.

"Shiro!" Ichigo yelled but said person ignored him as he sat on him man on the ground, punching him repeatedly until Ichigo was finally able to pull him off of the blunet with the now bloody face.

"You stay the fuck outta this!" Shiro yelled at Grimmjow as Ichigo pulled him out of the room, telling Grimmjow to stay there. Shiro turned to face down the hall, using the wall for support as he clutched his chest, trying to reach his aching heart. He wanted to leave... he wanted to leave this place of pain so badly but he couldn't seem to force his legs to move. Ichigo held the others shoulders, pushing his body against the wall not caring that he was still naked.

"Shiro... Shiro look at me please." he didn't respond, keeping his head turned to the side and his eyes on the floor.

"How long have you been doing this?" he asked, closing his eyes. Ichigo sighed, not wanting to tell him but knew that from here he had to be truthful if he wanted even a chance of his twin living through this.

"A... a little over three months..." he said and instantly regretted it. Shiro's eyes snapped to his looking hurt, confused, and angry.

"Three months? Three fucking months?" he exclaimed, shocked more by the fact that he hadn't done something about the obvious difference in the oranget... that he didn't see this coming... couldn't see through the lie because he was too stubborn to believe that he would ever do this to him... and now here they were.

"I'm sorry..." Ichigo sobbed, burying his face in his hands. Shiro's heart couldn't bear this pain anymore... it hurt... so much.

"You... you lied to me... you... lied... to _me_... I can't believe this..." Shiro looked away ashamed though not sure if it was at Ichigo or at himself.

"Shiro I'm sorry I didn't want to hurt you-"

"Well you did!" he yelled, shoving the berry away from him who hit the opposite wall.

"Hey!" Grimmjow shouted, running out of the room at the sound of violence, he had cleaned the blood from his face. Shiro glared evilly at the blunet with his glowing gold eyes.

"You better get yer ass back into that fucking room..." Shiro growled through clenched teeth. Grimmjow returned his growl, taking a step toward him but Ichigo stopped him, telling him to go back into the room. It took him awhile but he finally went back in, slamming the door shut. The berry turned to his dark, pressing his lips to the others gently but with a certain aggression though the dark berry didn't react as if he expected it. When he pulled away, he was hoping to see a changed expression on his face but it was the same. "It's not the same Ichi..." he said, sounding even more hurt. He turned to leave but Ichigo followed him.

"Shiro... Shiro listen to me-" Shiro turned on the boy again, this time, more angry than anything.

"No Ichi-you listen to me and that shouldn't be too fucking complicated for you cause it's only two fucking words!" he used his fingers to count them off as he said them. "Fuck! You!" he started to turn away again. "You're already letting Grimmjow." he spat the name. "Who the Hell knows who else yer selling yer ass to."

"Only Grimm..." Ichigo said sadly.

"Tsk like I give a fuck." Shiro mumbled under his breath.

"Because I love him." the darkness froze in his own shadow, his breath catching in his throat. He wanted to beat sense into his berry's words but he couldn't so much as turn around to face him. He knew he could never let his Ichi see him cry.

'Did... did I really just hear that?' he thought, biting his lip until it bled. 'Of course you did.' his own voice mocked him in his head. His legs shook but he stood his ground. He wouldn't let his brother see that he was weak. He refused. 'I... I can't... I won't...' he thought taking small breaths so that Berry wouldn't be able to hear him choking on his own tears as they ran quickly down his cheeks.

"Shiro?"

"I guess..." he clenched his fists tighter, feeling the warmth of his own blood in the palm of his hands. It hurt just to think this, let alone say it... but it just needed to be said so that Ichigo could understand the full extent of the pain he's caused his darkness. "I guess you really did leave a hole where my heart should be." with that, he left Ichigo standing there in shock.

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><p>Shiro went back to the only place he could-Ichigo's house. Walking into the apartment, he slammed the door shut and locked it before pacing from the living room to the kitchen.<p>

"How could he do this to me-how the _fuck_ can he _still_ be doing it? He comes onto me after Grimmjow fucked him then he wants me too? What the fucking Hell is up with that?" he yelled angrily, fidgeting with anything he could. "That bastard... how the fuck did he think this wouldn't hurt me?" the dark berry walked into the kitchen, grabbing the first knife that felt right in his hand before walking back into the living room to sit on the couch. His entire body was shaking fiercely and it was getting harder and harder to stand let alone walk. He twirled the blade between his fingers, waiting for the right moment to lash out at himself. "He wants Grimmjow not me... he... _loves_ Grimmjow... not... not me..." he sobbed, stopping the knife's movement and placed it down on the couch next to him before pulling his shirt over his head.

Setting his shirt on his lap to catch any falling blood before taking up the knife once more, placing the sharpened edge of it against a randomly chosen spot on his chest. He slowly dragged the cold, steel blade across his pale, white skin, marveling at the gorgeous crimson liquid that now flowed endlessly from the open wound. One after another, he scattered cuts around his torso, wanting the blood to cover his body. He remembered every little good memory of his Ichi as he could but none of it mattered anymore.

"He's not yours... he doesn't belong to you anymore... he's G-Grimmjow's... that's who he loves..." the scream of Grimmjow's name Ichigo gave off as he came echoed in his mind and the look on his face before he noticed the darkness in the room engraved itself there. It was enough to drive the dark berry mad. He moved the blade from his chest to place the tip on his throat. Just before he forced the blade through his flesh, he thought of something better. Placing the tip of the silver knife over his heart... he intended to carve a hole. He wanted to see his heart just to make sure that it was still there before he died. He took a deep breath... trying to prepare himself for the immense pain he knew he was about to go through.

'Wait.' he stopped at his own voice in his head. 'Ichi hurt you... he hurt you so bad that you're willing to kill yourself, knowing that when he comes home the first thing he's going to do is pick up this knife...' he pulls the knife away from his chest to look at it. "And use it to kill himself too." he voiced out this time.

"So? Who cares what that dick does? I'll be gone anyway." he argued. He knew that there wasn't another person or voice in his head. It was him against himself.

"Ichi's always told you that if one of you dies the other dies too. Why not just save him the-"

"Will you cut to the chase, I'm in a hurry." he said, annoyed though wasn't sure why he was asking himself when he knew exactly what he was thinking. Maybe he just liked to feel as if he had company, it was a feeling of comfort that he had needed to survive ever since being away from Ichigo.

"Kill him. Take him with you. Share with him your deepest pain." he ordered himself. He froze as the thought quickly got stronger and stronger... he smiled at the detailed thoughts of killing his younger twin and looking at blood, seeing it's perfections, only made his imagination that much more vivid. Then it hit him. His grand, master plan. He stood and made his way to the bathroom without getting a single drop of blood on the carpet. Once in the bathroom, he cleaned each of his wounds before wrapping his entire torso in gauze so he wouldn't lose anymore blood. He couldn't die just yet... Ichigo must get what he deserved and the darkness was the only one who could engulf the light... the only one who could extinguish that fire in his eyes.

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><p>Ichigo's mind raced as he hurried home. He hoped that by the time he got there, he wouldn't find a dead Shiro. He never wanted to hurt him-he really didn't. He had been with Grimmjow before his darkness had returned and he wanted to tell him before they had a chance to kiss, knowing that he'd submit to his touch but that first kiss came faster than he could think. He loved Shiro, he really really did but when Grimmjow had come into his life, if it weren't for him being in contact with the dark berry, he would have forgotten about him-and it hurt to even so much as think that but he just couldn't deny that it was true.<p>

It didn't take him long after Shiro's return to decide that he loved Grimmjow more and he liked that he didn't have to hide when he was with the blunet. He wanted to find a way to tell Shiro without him being hurt this badly but wasn't able to find that way before he got caught in the act. The oranget had begged everyone to keep quite about him and Grimmjow just until he could find an easy way to brake it to him but he couldn't ever even begin to think about it.

Parking his car, he quickly turned it off and jumped out before running into the building, praying that Shiro was still alive.

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><p>The darkness's blood boiled and he knew that it was because the light he was seeking to destroy was near. He made his way calmly, however calm insanity can get, down the hall and slipped into the bathroom, keeping the lights off and remaining silent as the front door opened and closed.<p>

"Shiro? Shiro are you here?" Ichigo's voice asked and he nearly ran out to attack the boy but somehow managed to stay in place, reminding himself that he had a plan to stick to. "Please... please don't be dead..." he heard Ichigo whisper as he passed the bathroom, walking into the bedroom with his pursuer close behind. Ichigo nearly screamed when someone suddenly shoved him up against the wall, tying his hands with something silky before he even had a chance to even _think_ to struggle.

"Afternoon..." Shiro's voice growled from behind him, his hot breath hovering over his neck. "King." he spat the word like it was acid in his mouth though subconsciously still held somewhat of a respective tone.

"S... Shiro what are you-" he was suddenly thrown onto the bed and a body pinned him there before tying his bound wrists to the headboard, in which the oranget struggled fiercely against but to no avail.

"Ah ah ah... you really shouldn't struggle so much King, you'll only hurt yourself." the darkness above him mocked, his voice sounding more distorted than usual.

"Shiro listen to me-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you but you're really starting to scare me so will you please let me go?" he pleaded, still struggling though Shiro was right, it didn't get him free and it wasn't going to... it only hurt. But that wouldn't stop him from trying. "Wha... what are you gonna do to me?" he asked, a few tears escaping his eyes. Hearing a tearing sound, he looked down seeing that Shiro was running a knife under his shirt, literally tearing it off so that he wouldn't have to untie him to get it off.

"What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna fuck ya til you understand the full extent of my pain." he said, working with his pants.

"Are you gonna cut me too?" Ichigo asked, looking at his wrapped body, patches of blood showing through the gauze.

"Now that ya mention it... perhaps I will..." he said, running the sharpened edge of the blade along the light's now bare chest, leaving a fine cut behind it. He slipped out of his pants and boxers before positioning himself between Ichigo's legs when the boy wasn't paying attention.

"N-no wait-" he didn't finish, seeing that he screamed when Shiro sudden thrust into him aggressively. The insane darkness didn't move just yet, taking a moment to enjoy this new feeling. He had been in his berry many times before but this was different, he felt like he was actually showing how much the light had hurt him, had been the purpose, he was very satisfied with the result. His eyes rolled back at the dominate and relieved feeling. Ichigo sobbed loudly as Shiro snapped back to it, thrusting his growing member deeper into the boy, no longer being gentle with him like he usually was. He was being as rough as he could, taking the poor berry however he wanted. The boy's own length was oozing with precum but he didn't do anything with it. This wasn't about pleasuring him like it usually was. No way in Hell. This time, it was about Shiro... it was his turn to be the King and Ichigo's turn to play the horse.

"N-no... Sh-Sh-Shiro... n...no..." he moaned after he got through the worst of the pain, trying to show that he wasn't enjoying it though they both knew he was.

"Come on King don't deny it to yourself! Ya love this and ya fucking know it! Now scream!" he yelled down at the sobbing berry though he didn't need Shiro to tell him to scream, seeing that he already knew that he it got him off faster if he was loud so he was already working on it. He knew he was enjoying it, he had every other time they had sex and this was nothing compared. While Ichigo's mind yelled that this was wrong and that he shouldn't be enjoying it, or at least not be showing it as much, because he was cheating on Grimmjow for the second time, his body yelled much more. The berry had only ever had it gentle because that's the way he asked for it but he never knew that being like this could ever exceed every feeling of pleasure he'd ever felt by so far. This was both the worst and the best sex he'd ever have.

Useless words such as "Stop" or "No more" flowed out of the helpless teen's mouth but they only made Shiro laugh and grab his hips tightly, guaranteed to leave a bruise, to move faster, driving himself deeper into his other self, quieting his words but forcing his moans and screams to get louder. It was so obvious that he was loving every bit of it, down to the last threatening word that Shiro would occasionally yell at him over his pleasured voice. Ichigo came hard, spilling a lot of his seed onto Shiro's stomach and his own, nearly throwing the other over the edge as well but he wouldn't allow it. Not yet. After the boy had cum, he tried speak as less as possible, afraid that he would say the wrong name and get beaten for it but he couldn't take this. He needed Shiro to stop but he wouldn't listen-he just keep going, only slightly slowing and not digging as deep to avoid cumming sooner. He didn't want to finish, he wanted to hold on as long as he could whether the other could handle it or not, meant nothing to him though he kept a close eye on him to make sure that the boy didn't pass out under him.

He couldn't hold anymore and threw a few last powerful thrusts into his younger twin before finally unloading all of his regret, sorrow, misery, and hurt into him who screamed at this. He quickly moved his hands to either of Ichigo's sides to hold himself up. He wouldn't fall... he wouldn't let himself fall. He wasn't done. His body didn't decide when he was finished-he did and god damn it he was not fucking through yet! Ichigo would never let anyone cum inside of him though he did anyway sometimes... good to know that he still hadn't let that asshole cum in him, not that it mattered anymore anyway. The light berry continued to cry, almost as if he was feeling all the guilt from everything he had done to his brother... he was glad to know that he had gotten the message across.

He was hunched over the boy on badly shaking arms, his sweat dripping onto the body beneath him as he gasped for air, tracing the pattern of Ichigo's cum on his stomach with his eyes as an attempt to distract himself while his body calmed down.

After several minutes, he finally stopped shaking and looked up to meet Ichigo's eyes just to find the boy asleep. The boy was mocking him! Taking advantage of his state, he fucking _fell asleep_ with the enemy still above him and even still inside of him! This pissed Shiro off beyond outraged and he threw his fist back just to bring it crushing down on his jaw with plenty of force, startling the boy awake with pain at the same time, pulling out of him causing them both to gasp. His large length was covered in Ichigo's blood and both of their cum not that it mattered in the slightest.

"Don't you _ever_ fucking **_dare_** fall asleep on me again! Ya fucking got it?" he yelled and Ichigo quickly nodded, not daring to speak as he remembered why he was so scared of his favorite person. Shiro stumbled off the bed lucky to still be on his feet. He was tired but he had a plan to follow and resting was never part of it... though he wasn't really sure how well he would fight if he were exhausted. He moved anything that Ichigo would try to get a hold of, especially phones before leaving to take a shower, knowing that soon enough he'd have a very interesting guest.

He didn't waste much time at all in the shower, not even bother to dress before heading back into the bedroom. Ichigo hadn't moved at all, looks like he was just more focused on staying conscious.

"M-may I get in the s-shower now please?" he asked as Shiro slipped into some dark colored pants before wrapping his chest with new gauze, ignoring Ichigo completely.

"We're out of gauze by the way... not like we'll be needing anymore though..." he said throwing the now empty box of medical supplies, spare for some band-aids, onto the dresser. "Well...horse..." he chuckled, picking up the knife that had been pushed off the bed earlier before stepping closer to the panicked berry. "Let's see who walks away with the crown, shall we?"

"S-stop! L-leave me alone Shiro-get away from me! W-we're even now r-right?" he shouted in plain fear, struggling to free himself again.

"Even? Oh no my dear King..." he lowered his head, chuckling low though it was clearly evil. He shot his head up, the look on his face even more twisted than usual, if at all possible. "We've only just begun!" by his smile and the look in his eyes, it was obvious that he had a plan already set in motion for this poor berry, doomed to bleed as his crazed brother sat on top of him to keep him from squirming too much. Laughing evilly, he raised the knife above his head.

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><p>Alrighty then... onward and forward... yeah uh... *whistles* I'm trying to ignore the people standing over me with spears pointed at my head... don't kill Ichi... cuz if you kill him Imma kill you in my sleep-yes in MY sleep-not yours-MINE. You'll be awake for the whole thing... well uh... yeah... see ya next chapter... if I decide to post it anytime soon *evil smile as I hide in a cave* Please review whether you be stabbing me with a spear or praising me. Both are accepted gratefully. ^-^<p> 


	4. The Death of Three

Since there was such a drop off and I'm too depressed to be funny or a smart ass, I'll just make it short and straight forward. And since I'm writing these chapters so fast, screw the challenges, if you still wanna do it-great otherwise, you shouldn't care. But if there's a good secret that I can come up with, then I'll write, if not, oh well.

Secret: This is not the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own, Breath, Rain, Breaking Benjamin, or Bleach.

* * *

><p>Ichigo squeezed his eyes shut as the knife in Shiro's hand came down but when he felt something soft land on his chest he opened them again to see that Shiro had only kissed above his heart.<p>

"Come on King did ya really think I'd kill ya just yet?" Shiro teasing, laughing... he almost sounded like himself. The berry let out a yelp of surprise and pain when Shiro quickly cut his chest again. "Not yet but soon."

"Shiro you can't kill me, we're brothers-"

"When did it matter?" he yelled angrily before taking a deep breath. "I'll kill you no matter what you are to me." he said, kissing his Ichi before duck taping his mouth shut. "Now I have a very special guest to invite over." he said, grabbing Ichi's phone and looking through his contacts, smiling when he found the name. He called them and when they answered, his face went from serious and evil to confused and scared.

"T-there's a lot of blood..." he sobbed, sounding exactly like Ichi. "I can't find Shiro b-but there's so m-much blood here!" he spoke fast, sounding like he was choking on tears as if he'd been crying for awhile but not a single tear even showed in his eyes. Ichigo could very faintly hear a worried voice on the other end of the line, telling him to calm down. "P-please hurry... I'm so scared Grimm." as Shiro said that last line, he smirked up at Ichigo who's eyes widened and he struggled against his restraints, making as much noise as he could but that wasn't much with Shiro's body pinning him down and his voice muffled by duck tape and one of Shiro's hands. The look on the darkness's face returned to evil as hung up and ripped the duck tape off of the light's mouth. "Yer boyfriend's on his way." he mocked with his own voice.

"Don't involve him in this Shiro-"

"You involved him the moment you set eyes on each other!" the darkness yelled back, cutting him for defending the blunet. "Now... Kitty will be here soon-very soon so we best get to work." he hummed against the fresh cut, taking his brother's blood and the cum that was still on the boy's chest and stomach into his mouth. "You'll make such a wonderful display."

"D-display?" the light asked, now fearing for his life again-not only his... but Grimmjow's too.

"You taste so amazing Ichi..." he chuckled, ignoring his question as he licked Ichigo's two fluids from his chest. The light berry groaned at the slight sting of his own cum getting into his open cuts. "I'll miss this... I'll miss your taste... your touch..." he pulled himself away to kiss him passionately. "Your kiss..." he said as he parted from the others lips. "I'll miss you regardless of the fact that you're a cheating bastard." he said sadly though there was no regret in his voice.

"I really loved you Ichigo..." The elder of the twins looked and sounded like himself but not a moment later he returned to the evil, monstrous Shiro that Ichigo was afraid of. His eyes widened as he duck taped his mouth again before raising the knife once more. "But alas dear King didn't love me back!" he yelled, bringing the sharp point of the knife down into Ichigo's chest. He screamed, though greatly muffled by the many layers of duck tape over his mouth.

He cut down enough that he could throw the knife aside and slide his hand into the flesh, pulling it apart and look into the bloody mess as if he were searching for something. As if he found what he was looking for, he dug his other hand into Ichigo's body to grab something and hold it tight, silencing the boy's screams. He smirked and removed the duck tape with his free hand, covered in blood.

"I... did... love you... Shiro..." Ichigo managed to say before becoming incoherent, barely alive. Shiro's eyes widened but Ichigo's voice rang in his head, confessing to loving Grimmjow.

"You..."

'He's lying, don't listen to him.' his own voice boomed in his mind.

"You're lying!" he yelled, ripping his hand out of the berry's chest before looking down at him. His eyes, once full of love and compassion... now dull and lifeless. The dark berry looked at his hand before his hysterical, demonic laughter filled the room. "What do you know Ichi... you actually _did_ have a heart." there in his blood covered hand... was the heart of Ichigo Kurosaki.

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><p>Grimmjow ran through the lobby of Ichigo's apartment building, taking the stairs up because he knew he was faster than the elevator. When he got to Ichigo's floor, he ran down the hall until reaching his door. He hesitated to walk in, his mind telling him that it was a bad idea and that he should just leave but he reminded himself that Ichi needed him so he forced his body to move against his mind and walked in.<p>

His eyes widened in horror as they immediately fell onto the bloody mass on the living room floor... it was Ichigo. He rushed over to hold him, checking to see if he was alive though it was so obvious that he wasn't. The blunet couldn't help but to cry as he noticed the gaping hole in the oranget's chest. The door suddenly slammed shut and he spun around to see Shiro who had been hiding behind the door with a twisted smirk on his face.

"Miss me... Kitty?" he chuckled darkly. Grimmjow looked outraged but confused, a look that made Shiro laugh. "I'm so scared, please hurry Grimm!" he mimicked Ichigo's voice again. The blunet's eyes widened as his tears ran faster. He wanted to beat this bastard to death but he couldn't move! "Ichi never told you this but he was cheating with you... on me." he said angrily, his smile disappearing. "That's right we were incestuous but that never mattered to either of us. And then I break into your apartment to find him letting you fuck him. Do you know how fucking hurt I am-"

"So you kill him?" Grimmjow finally yelled back. Shiro raised an eyebrow before his smile returned and he chuckled.

"I had to be sure he had a heart-which in fact I want to play for. He's been with me all our lives and yet he says he loves you... well today, you and I are gonna fight to the death..." he revealed what was in his hand. "And the winner gets Berry's heart." Grimmjow stared at the bloody heap in Shiro's hand before forcing himself to leave Ichigo and charge at Shiro, fist ready who easily dodged and tripped him, sitting on his back when he hit the ground.

"Why don't you check to see if _you_ have a heart, you fucking bastard!" the blunet yelled, throwing Shiro off of him. Shiro seemed to be thinking about it.

"Seems like a good idea but not all three of us can end up heartless." the darkness laughed, throwing his head back. Grimmjow took this opportunity to charge him again but was stopped when he felt the worst pain he had ever experienced. He looked down to see a knife in his chest, held by Shiro. When had he grabbed the knife? "Looks like I won." he said as Grimmjow fell. "I would have loved to have actually had a fair fight to the death with ya, ya seem like a real good fighter but we're outta time." Grimmjow tried to ignore the white being above him but he lay there at his feet, looking at his Ichi for what seemed like so long. Using what was left of his strength, he crawled to him, holding him in his arms that had become soaked in his own blood. At this, Shiro growled but allowed it to happen for reasons he didn't know.

_Take a photograph, it'll be the last_

"I'm sorry Ichi... I guess I'll be seeing you, where ever you are."

"Pathetic..." Shiro mumbled, folding his arms as he scowled at the dead and dying couple.

_Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here_

"I love you too." Grimmjow confessed, kissing Ichigo's now cold lips. He had never told Ichigo that he loved him because he was still kind of denying it but he was glad that he was finally able to tell him before he bleed to death. Shiro looked at the two dead men before him who had loved even in death... what had he done?

_I don't have a past I just have a chance, not a family or honest plea remains to say_

Tears slowly made their way down his face as he very slowly stepped closer to them.

_Rain, rain go away, come again another day_

The fading darkness fell to his knees as he cried, brushing his hand on Ichigo's cheek, feeling his cold skin.

_All the world is waiting for the sun_

"I'm so sorry Ichigo... I'm so sorry..."

_Is it you I want or just the notion of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around?_

Shiro sobbed, holding his head in his hands, his mind telling him that he had a plan. But he refused it.

_Safe to say from here_

He couldn't take this. How had he been driven to do such a thing to the person he loved so much? How had he done this?

_You're getting closer now_

He looked over the two again, looking over every detail in their wounds.

_We are never sad 'cause we are not allowed to be_

He cried harder though couldn't tear his eyes away from the hole he'd left where the light's heart should be.

_Rain, rain go away, come again another day, all the world is waiting for the sun_

Shiro carefully placed Ichigo's heart back in his chest before looking up at Grimmjow. He apologized before pulling the knife out of his chest.

_Rain, rain go away, come again another day, all the world is waiting for the sun_

He slowly carved "Regret" into the inside of his left arm, feeling faint from blood loss.

_To lie here under you is all that I could ever do, to lie here under you is all..._

"Ichigo... Grimmjow... I'm so sorry for what I've done..." the darkness sobbed as he placed the tip of the knife to his throat.

_To lie here under you is all that I could ever do_

"I won't follow you to where ever it is you two have gone..."

_To lie here under you is all..._

"I hope you two are very happy there... you're Grimmjow's Ichi... his Berry... I'll stay out of the way. I promise."

_Rain, rain go away_

"Look like I was wrong... I was the one who left a hole where your heart should be."

_Come again another day_

"Please... punish me in the harshest way for my crime!" he shouted, crying harder before forcing the blade into his own flesh.

_All the world is waiting for the sun_

Shiro couldn't scream to express how bearable the pain was... he couldn't even breathe...

_Rain, rain go away_

He couldn't say one last apology before he died...

_Come again another day_

And he couldn't tell Ichigo one last time, how much he loved him.

_All the world is waiting for the sun_

He fell, searching for Ichigo's hand, smiling when he finally found it.

_All the world is waiting for the sun_

Three boys now lay dead in a pool of mixed blood.

_All the world is waiting for the sun._

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><p>Sorry that it's short but to me that was a perfect ending, hope you liked it anyway. Please review and tell me what you think. Grimmjow, Ichigo, and Shiro were the three boys that we cloned so that we wouldn't lose them. See ya next chapter. <em><br>_


	5. Afterlife?

Okay not much to say, I'm still way depressed from writing this so uh... yeah. Thank you contestantnumber2 for your help and I know you're just as upset as I am and I apologize if this makes you cry.

Secret: ...you met the last clone in this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Anthem of the Angels or Breaking Benjamin... I want to be simple with this but don't wanna let the others, especially Shiro, have their way.  
>Shiro: She <em>doesn't<em> own Bleach!  
>Me: ...<br>Shiro: *raises arms* Victory!  
>Me: Sure I do.<br>Shiro: *slumps in failure*

* * *

><p>So many tears were shed over the three boys, the lost were precious friends... loved brothers and sons. Today was a viewing and tomorrow, all three boys were being buried next to each other. Isshin tried to comfort his two crying daughters though he was distressed himself. Karin faced Shiro, screaming at how angry the young girl was at him, asking why he did this to them. They were both so young, barely nine years old, why did they have to understand what had happened?<p>

Rukia and some others of three's friends scowled and cursed Shiro while others mourned him equally. Yoruichi, however, was the only different one. She spent all her time next to Shiro, speaking, humming, and singing to him as she stroked his cheek. She yelled at anyone who cursed his name and only left his side when his family wanted a moment. She wore a small tight black dress that clung to her curves and instead of the back showing and having threads running through the gap, it was the front, barely covering her large breasts. She didn't care what anyone else thought of her for wearing it, it was the only thing Shiro had ever complimented her in so this is what she was wearing specially for him. She had broken up with Nel after the hike so they could be together... just to hear what had happened.

Grimmjow's father had come, he didn't talk to anyone, his eyes full of sorrow but even when he looked at Shiro, they still held no anger. He didn't seem to hold Shiro for anything that he did, unlike his son, he was a very forgiving man.

"Ichi! Ichi-nii please wake up! Please!" Yuzu cried, holding his hand. Isshin pulled her away from him, holding her tightly. "Daddy make Ichigo get up... he'll be late for dinner." she sobbed into her father's chest.

"I know sweetie... I know." even strong Isshin couldn't help but to shed a few tears as he pulled Karin into his arms as well, holding his last two children. It wasn't long before night fell, the caskets being closed before everyone started to leave, even Grimmjow's father left until only the Kurosaki's were left. (Seriously is it a rule that the direct family has to be the first and last ones there?) Finally, after a few more minutes, they too made their leave.

* * *

><p>A pounding sound quietly echoed in the closed off room before the lid of a casket swung open and a white being shot up, gasping for air. The white haired teen known as Shiro looked around, his eyes already adapted to the surrounding darkness.<p>

"Wa... wasn't I dead? Didn't I-" he stopped short as he realized where he was. This was a funeral house. He looked down to confirm his theory. He was correct, he was in a casket... a funeral was to be held in the morning. _His_. He climbed out of his resting place, not wanting to be in there but looked back into it to see that it was now empty. "Okay... so I'm not a spirit... I'm still in my own body. I'm still Shiro Kurosaki but... I killed myself didn't I?" he felt his neck, feeling cloth meaning that his neck wound had been covered up which probably meant that so too had the many cuts on the rest of his body. "Why am I still-" he gasped, spinning around to face another closed casket. "Ichi..."

He quickly opened it to see his... his brother... his dead twin. He tried to tell himself that this was all just some terrible nightmare though he knew it was all somehow real. He didn't know _how_ it was real but he knew it was. He slowly and carefully unbuttoned Ichigo's dress shirt as if he would fall apart if he made the wrong move. Slowly parting the white wrap that covered the berry's chest, he seen a small part of the hole he had made and quickly pulled his hand away to cover his mouth. Stumbling back a bit, he fell on his ass, tears rapidly flowing from his eyes. He closed his eyes and screamed into his hands, hoping no one was still here.

After a while he finally gathered enough strength to stand and button his brother's shirt up again. He pulled the Red Carnation out of the pocket of his suit and placed it in Ichigo's hand.

"Are you going to wake up too Ichigo?" there was silence. "Please wake up..." no response. "Please... please... please Ichi... please wake up..." he sobbed, laying his head gently on the others stomach, not wanting to touch his chest. "Ichigo... Ichigo please... I'm so so sorry... will you please wake up? Please?" he stayed like that all night, just hoping and begging that Ichigo would wake up, he would even take Grimmjow, who he found out was on the other side of Ichigo. He just needed one of them to apologize to because no matter how many times he said he was sorry, he didn't know if either of them had actually forgiven him.

* * *

><p>When Shiro heard the main doors opening he quickly closed Ichigo's casket and then his own. How long had he been there? He was about to hide before he felt so guilty. He walked back to Ichigo, opened the lid, and kissed his forehead, promising that he'd go to his funeral and that he'd be with him every night so that he didn't get lonely. Locking him up again made him feel bad but he had to do it, he ran his hand along Grimmjow's casket as he walked passed, apologizing to him again before finally hiding just before the door opened and men came in to take the caskets away. Which only meant that they were all being buried together, he just hoped that his coffin wouldn't be opened... he'd be in trouble then.<p>

Luckily it wasn't and he was able to sneak out unnoticed. He hid in the trees near by and listened to what everyone said. There was a lot of great things people had to say about Ichigo... friendly words for Grimmjow... but nothing for him. Nothing. His sisters never spoke for him... his father never spoke for him... no one cared. Fresh tear stung his eyes.

"When did it matter? Who cares if no one loves me... it's never mattered..." he sobbed, trying to wipe his tears away but failed miserably.

"Shut up... you're gonna get yourself... caught..." for once, he listened to his other voice because he was just too depressed and confused to fight with it.

"I've noticed that no one's said anything about Shiro..." his eyes widened at the voice and he peeked around the tree he was hiding behind to see Yoruichi who had stood up to place a caring hand on his coffin. He noticed right away that she was wearing his favorite dress. "I know that you all must still be upset with him or just don't know what to say... but really, whether we were his friends or not, he was still ours..." she trailed off as she began to cry softly and as he began to cry harder. "And the words you guys said to him last night tore my heart into so many little pieces. It hurts me that you guys would hurt him more than what pain he already has... no matter what he did, he is _still_ your friend... brother... son... he is _still_ a human being." she suddenly raised her voice.

"Yes he made a very big mistake and now we're all suffering from it but even in death we need to support, care for, and love him. He's watching us and he knows what we're saying... and he's not happy... he's sad... even more sad than any of us. Out of all of us-Ichigo and Grimmjow included... he probably went through the most pain." Shiro tried to tell himself that that was wrong-that Ichigo got the worst of it when really... it was true. "Can we not push aside our hurt feelings for a moment so that we can say good bye?"

Everyone kinda of looked at each other before slowly going up to apologize to Shiro and say good bye. Though out of place, Yoruichi stayed by his side until he was in the ground... or at least... where he should be...

After they were buried, everyone started to leave... all but the Kurosaki's... Grimmjow's dad... and Yoruichi who knelt in front of Shiro's grave. It slowly began to rain and Grimmjow's dad sighed before leaving. Isshin knelt next to Yoruichi, placing a hand on her shoulder and she turned into him, sobbing loudly... finally allowing her tears to flow with the rain.

* * *

><p>Shiro fell to his knees before his own grave, to his right was Ichigo's resting place and on the other side of his, Grimmjow's. He laid across all three and cried.<p>

"Ichi... you had everyone and now I have no one... why does it hurt that no one cared? Why does it..." he tried to calm down a bit but found that it was useless, he couldn't stop his tears. "Hurt... _so_ much?" there was never an answer and it brought on even more tears knowing that there never would be. He cried so much, he was sure he'd drown. He lay there, forever apologizing into the next morning.

He needed to get back to Ichi's before they took his stuff but he couldn't afford to be seen like this though he wasn't entirely sure if he could be seen but since he was still in his physical body, he figured he could be. Better safe than sorry. He knew that his white hair would be easily recognized and he was still in the black suit he was supposed to be in the ground with. He was great at being invisible but thoughts of what might happen if he got caught worried him. Once there, he looked around but it didn't seem like there was anyone there or even near, his story must have scared them all off. This might be his only chance to grab what he needed and go before his family could get a chance to claim anything. Good thing he never had a chance to unpack so everything should just be waiting for him.

The cameras seemed to be turned off due to some police thing maybe? So breaking into his and Ichigo's old apartment was simple enough and he figured that getting out would be even easier because he would be covered up. The moment the door opened, he seen the image of Ichigo's and Grimmjow's bodies, laying dead. Tears stung his eyes but he quickly turned his head, willing them away.

"No more tears." he told himself. "Crying won't bring them back... nothing will..." he closed the door and walked into the room that they had shared and seen Ichigo laying dead on the bed with a hole in his chest... the bed where he had raped and torn his heart out. Shaking his head, he grabbed his bag which thankfully hadn't been touched before heading to the kitchen. He was starving and so dehydrated it wasn't funny. He packed his bag with some food and water bottles before starting to eat a granola bar. When he tried to swallow it, he felt his throat close up and it burnt horribly so he quickly spit it out.

"What the Hell? Am I not allowed to eat now?" he growled, throwing the fruity bar away before unpacking all the food. The burning was too intense to try force it down so he figured if he died again from starvation then it'd be alright, he was better off actually dead. "Better be able to drink..." he tried to take a sip of a water bottle but the same thing happened and he threw it up into the sink. "Fuck really?" he shouted, chucking the water bottle across the room and it exploded against the wall. He sighed and unpacked the water so that it wouldn't burden him and cleaned up so it was as if he were never there. He walked into the bathroom to change. The first thing that he noticed when he looked into the mirror was that his skin wasn't just really really pale anymore... it was literally white and his eyes... they weren't normal anymore. The sclera was black instead of white, the irises were silver instead of their usual golden color, and the pupils were white instead of black which meant that he should be blind but he could see just fine.

He shook it off and changed into dark jeans, a plain red T-shirt, black gloves, a dark grey hoodie, and slipped into red and black stater shoes. He packed some medical supplies and put his suit into his bag for safe keeping.

He looked into the mirror again before leaving. As he passed the living room he seen that image again only he was there, carving his regret into his arm. Rolling up the sleeve on his left arm, he pulled the bandage back to reveal the word "regret" carved there, still looking fresh. It would never heal. None of his wounds would. He placed the bandage back over it and pulled his sleeve down again before zipping his jacket up all the way, pulling the hood over his head to hide his white hair and put his black tinted sunglasses on to hide his eyes. He threw his duffel bag over his shoulder and opened the front door, turning to see the image of all three of them laying dead in a pool of all their bloods.

"I'm sorry." he said before turning to leave, shutting the door, and praying that he would never have to come back.

* * *

><p>Shiro watched as he and Ichigo ran around the local park as children from the bench they would sit on and have ice cream together. Little Ichigo suddenly turned to see him and ran over to him with Little Shiro calling after him to come back and leave him alone.<p>

"Do you wanna play with us?" Little Ichigo asked him and he nearly started to cry at the innocent voice.

"I... I can't."

"Why not mister?" he blinked... that wasn't Ichigo's voice. A little three year old girl with dark orange hair stood in front of him.

"Orihime leave him alone." an older woman said gently. "I'm sorry, she's so curious about everything." Shiro looked up to see a woman with long dark hair that was braided in front of her. "I'm Unohana and this is my daughter Orihime." she said gesturing to herself then the girl. Shiro stood up and started walking away.

"I have to go."

"I understand." Unohana said sadly.

"We'll play later then mister. Bye." Orihime called, running back to her dark haired friend that Shiro had seen as himself. He sighed, continuing on though he wasn't sure where we was going. He ended up just wondering around until night fall, finally deciding to head back to the graves.

Seeing Yoruichi coming up to the entrance, he hurried to hide behind his own tombstone. The purple haired teen knelt before his grave and placed something down, most likely flowers.

"Hi Shiro. Uh... I don't know if you had a favorite flower or not so I just brought some lilies and white roses since I know that was your favorite color. I hope that's alright." she said sadly. He wanted to tell her that it was alright and that they were beautiful but he knew that he had to remain silent. "For the longest time I just wanted you to open up to me... I was never satisfied with how much you did let me in... I always wanted deeper in. When you left, I was so depressed, thinking that I had lost you." she paused as she wiped some of her tears away. "But when I seen you... I became hopeful again... I just wanted you to see me... but you had become even more distant than before. I'm sorry I was so pushy with you." she paused again, trying to collect herself.

"I never noticed." Shiro mumbled so low his own ears only faintly heard it. She was quiet for awhile as if thinking about what she wanted to say before speaking again.

"I wanted to give this to you, I started making it when I got home after the hike but then I found out about what happened and then I wanted to put it on you at the viewing the other night but it wasn't finished... so I'm giving it to you now..." something else was placed down and he wanted to see what it was but he knew that if he moved in the slightest, she'd see him for sure.

"Ever since we met, you've been telling me that everyone has a choice." something rustled. "Well I hope my choice will lead me to you." hearing this, Shiro jumped out trying to grab her hands but was too late. Blood sprayed on him as she ran a knife through her own throat.

"No no no no _no_! No Yoru-please no! Yoru please hold on-just hold on please!" Shiro yelled in panic as he took her in his arms. "This is all my fault I'm so sorry!" he started CPR, knowing it wouldn't help but didn't care. "I'm so sorry..." Yoruichi reached up to touch his cheek, bringing him down to kiss her.

"Love... Shiro..." tears found their way passed Shiro's eyes as he stared wide eyed at her smiling face. Her hand fell but she wasn't quite dead yet.

"Yoru... Yoruichi..." his tears fell onto her face and she closed her eyes so that he wouldn't have to watch as the life drained from them. "Hey... hey!" he shouted, starting to panic again. "Yoruichi! Hey! Don't die-please don't die! Yoruichi!" he watched her for a minute before holding her tighter, screaming his sorrow into the night sky.

* * *

><p>The sorrow filled darkness watched from a far distance as people carried Yoruichi away, someone had heard him screaming and called the police, he'd have to leave in a moment before they started looking around. He clenched his fist around the item in his hand.<p>

"I loved you too Yoruichi..." he whispered, looking at her one last time before they covered her body and took her away. He sighed and left. He needed to find a place where he could burn his bloody clothes.

After walking for over an hour, he found a pretty good spot and started a fire. He changed into clean clothes and tossed the bloody ones into the fire. The fabric slowly burnt but the blood didn't change the fire like his always though it would. He sat down and watched the unchanged fire, tears starting to run down his cheeks again. He looked at the necklace in his hand, thinking about it's creator.

"I did see you... I always seen you..." it was a black choker with white and a few silver studs and in the middle was a silver circle with a golden moon pattern on it. He put it around his neck, tying it in the back, thinking about how it was ironic that it matched his new eyes.

The dark berry curled into a tight ball, hugging his knees close to his chest as he continued to cry. To him... he had killed another person he loved.

* * *

><p><em>White walls surround us <em>  
><em> No light will touch your face again <em>  
><em> Rain taps the window <em>  
><em> As we sleep among the dead <em>

_ Days go on forever _  
><em> But I have not left your side <em>  
><em> We can chase the dark together <em>  
><em> If you go then so will I <em>

_ There is nothing left of you _  
><em> I can see it in your eyes <em>  
><em> Sing the anthem of the angels <em>  
><em> And say the last goodbye <em>

_ Cold light above us _  
><em> Hope fills the heart <em>  
><em> And fades away <em>  
><em> Skin white as winter <em>  
><em> As the sky returns to grey <em>

_ Days go on forever _  
><em> But I have not left your side <em>  
><em> We can chase the dark together <em>  
><em> If you go then so will I <em>

_ There is nothing left of you _  
><em> I can see it in your eyes <em>  
><em> Sing the anthem of the angels <em>  
><em> And say the last goodbye <em>  
><em> I keep holding onto you <em>  
><em> But I can't bring you back to life <em>  
><em> Sing the anthem of the angels <em>  
><em> Then say the last goodbye <em>

_ You're dead alive [x4]_

_ There is nothing left of you _  
><em> I can see it in your eyes <em>  
><em> Sing the anthem of the angels <em>  
><em> And say the last goodbye <em>  
><em> I keep holding onto you <em>  
><em> But I can't bring you back to life <em>  
><em> Sing the anthem of the angels <em>  
><em> And say the last goodbye<br>Sing the anthem of the angels  
>and say the last goodbye<br>Sing the anthem of the angels...  
><em>

* * *

><p>I know, bad thing after bad thing just keeps happening to him and I feel <strong>SOOO<strong> guilty but it had to be done... I guess not had to be done but... oh well you get it and if not... *sighs and shakes head* Baaka... anyway, please review and I'll see you all again in a little bit. _  
><em>


	6. Detected

Okay so uh... things are uh... still going down hill for poor Shiro but... but... shut up I said but! Uh... yeah anyway... yeah... lots of love to and for contestantnumber2 who has helped me so much it's not even expressible! I love you so much and *bows too deeply and does a somersault thing, landing on my back* Ow... *rubs back before realizing that everyone's staring* Uh... *smiles brightly* I meant to do that... anyway, thanks!

Secret: ...screw the secrets, it's a surprise.

Disclaimer: I do not own Falling Inside the Black or Skillet... but I do however-  
>Shiro: No you don't own Bleach!<br>Me: ...d...don't yell at me... *cries in a corner*

* * *

><p>Walking up to the graves again, Shiro took his sunglasses off as he pulled his hood back before taking his coat completely off, sighing in relief to be home again. He was in his favorite outfit, baggy black pants with tons of pockets, a simple black long sleeved shirt, black gloves, pure black skater shoes, a long white hooded trench coat, and black tinted sunglasses. He laid an Orange Lily along with an orange rose on Ichigo's grave.<p>

"I'm sorry the flowers are late Ichi, I had some troubles finding them all."

A Blue Orchid with a blue rose for Grimmjow. "Blue Orchid's are pretty rare and I spend the last of my money on it so no complaining unless you have a way a dead man can make money."

A Ghost Flower and a white rose for himself though no words were said.

And kneeling in front of the grave next to his, he placed a Purple Carnation and a purple rose. _In loving memory of Yoruichi Shihoin_. "I hope they're alright... I never knew if you had a favorite flower either but I knew that purple was your favorite color so hopefully these will satisfy you, where ever you are." he bowed his head and apologized for not paying more attention to her. He rubbed his choker that now hid the bandage around his neck, once again thanking her for it and promising to wear it forever. He sighed and laid on his coat across the four graves, crossing his legs over each other and folding one arm behind his head while the other continued to fidget with the necklace as he thought about everything that had happened.

It had been four years since he's been dead and he spent all day wandering around to different places and all night here with his family, seeing that he couldn't sleep now that he was dead. He learned to adapt to the thirsty and starved feeling and what he found unbearable was that he couldn't die again no matter how hard he tried to, even drowning himself only made him feel suffocated for as long as he could tolerate it but it would never kill him. He could still feel pain though it wasn't as intense and he was more sensitive to the sun, becoming even more of a night person... he never really had liked day.

At Yoruichi's funeral, he had been blamed by a few people... especially Nel... she was furious, cursing his name left and right... it hurt a bit but he didn't care too much. He sighed again, remembering the advents of today.

"Ichi..." he talked mostly to Ichigo but spoke to the others when he had something to tell them. "I seen Karin today... her and Yuzu turned thirteen not too long ago right? Anyway, I was just wandering around like usual when I thought about revealing myself to the family... see if they'd accept me. I found that my feet carried me to the family house... they're moving you know... I don't know to where but the house seemed kinda empty and there was a "For Sale" sign outside. I was staring at the house for awhile before Karin came out, asking if I needed anything. I left without saying anything." he paused for a little bit, counting a few stars. "I couldn't do it... I can never do it... I just can't..." a few silent tears flowed from his eyes. He didn't cry as much as he used to but he still did in the right moments, no longer trying to hold them back.

"Anyway... I've got so much time to think that I'm running out of things to think about and it's so frustrating with nothing to do and so much spare time. But I guess I've gotta get outta here tomorrow, seeing it's the anniversary of our deaths and our families should be here. Yer dad would come right Grimm? He seems like a pretty cool guy though he's really quiet... if you two didn't look so much alike, I'd say that you weren't even related cause you guys are so different." he chuckled. "I wish I could've met him instead of just seeing him whenever he comes to give ya flowers." he sighed again, rolling over on his side and closing his eyes before starting to sing his and Ichigo's song. He was able to find something to talk about for the rest of the night, no matter how small or pointless.

* * *

><p>Shiro was still in his favorite outfit, he hadn't felt like changing last night or this morning so didn't. He smelt food and felt his hunger again but repressed the pointless feeling-he couldn't eat anyway so why was he always so starved? Was he supposed to suffer for the rest of eternity? That's when it occurred to him-he was thrown out of his thoughts when he ran into someone. He looked down to see who it was... it was Rukia!<p>

"Hey watch it." Renji growled shoving the darkness away, nearing fueling him to punch the redhead back but refrained. Nel was there too, what was he going to do? They sure as Hell weren't going to let him pass without answering.

"Renji knock it off, it was an accident." Rukia said, looking up to try to see under the dark berry's hood but he bowed his head low as an apology before turning away to leave maybe they _would_ left him go. They all should be twenty three by now and he still looked only nineteen.

"Hey punk I was talking to you!" Renji yelled and he felt his hood being pulled back. He quickly grabbed it and held it tightly... too late... his silence meant that he had seen the wild white spikes. Slightly looking back, he seen the redhead throw his fist but couldn't afford to fight back so he just let himself get hit. He felt very little pain, if he hadn't seen his fist, he would've thought he had barely slapped him. He smirked at the thought but the smile left his face when he noticed that his glasses had fallen off. He kept his head down, not looking up.

"Renji!" Rukia yelled at him, pulling him away.

"It's Shiro! I'm telling you that it's fucking Shiro!" he yelled, pointing at the dead berry and he just stood there, still holding his hood. His glasses were suddenly held in front of him and he slightly looked up to see Nel's smiling face.

"Here you go. Please excuse my friend, he's just a bit..." she opened her eyes from the sweet smile to look into his dead ones. Realizing that Renji wasn't just seeing things, she glared deathly at him but felt as though she couldn't move.

'Fuck...' Shiro quickly snatched his glasses and left before she could attack him too. 'This is bad... what the fuck am I gonna do? I've gotta watch my back from now on, no doubt they'll be looking for me.' he thought as he put his sunglasses back on, heading anywhere away from them. They would be looking for his white trench coat so he needed to change his clothes.

After he had changed into simple jeans, a T-shirt, and a hoodie, he walked among a crowd, wondering where he would go from here. He wanted to go hide out at home but his family would be there and he was **_so_** _sick_ and _tired_ of hiding. He tried to hide his frustrated tears as he thought but the fact that he was alone with nowhere to go.

* * *

><p>A few days had passed and he kept to the shadows more than usual and went less places but he hated being at the cemetery during the day because people were there and it was just different then the night even when he was the only one.<p>

He was the so relieved when another day and passed into night, signaling that he could go home. Shiro sighed, quiet exhausted as he placed his sunglasses on his tombstone and his jacket at the side. Pulling his shirt over his head and laying it on top of his jacket, he laid down on the soft grass after greeting everyone. He hated wearing a jacket all the time so on cool nights like tonight, he took his shirt off he never really did like wearing shirts-clothes at all. He never once has taken the patches off of his body or neck. He never wanted to see the still open wounds, especially his neck.

"I tried to see the family again... they're gone... I was too late..." he sighed, feeling useless. He looked at the flowers he had given everyone to see that they were dying and sighed again. "I'll see what I can do about getting you guys some more flowers soon, but for now, I'll tend to the ones dad and the girls left." he was silent for awhile before speaking again. "Nel and Renji were here earlier weren't they? I haven't seen them much and luckily they haven't seen me since the incident... what am I going to do? I know that no one will believe them that they seen me but they're looking for me themselves. I don't want to run but I can't face them even if I wanted to. What am I gonna do? What _can_ I do?" he closed his eyes to try and relax as he started rubbing his choker again, it had really become a great comfort to him.

"Yoru... Grimm... Ichi... thank you guys so much for listening... I thought that I was keeping you guys company at first but really... you guys are keeping me company... thanks. It helps a lot-" Shiro was suddenly pinned down and opened his eyes to see Renji holding his arms down.

"What the Hell?" he was about to throw him off when Nel sat on him, starting to repeatedly punch him. He finally shook his arms free of Renji's grasp and punched him before rolling on top of Nel, grabbing her throat tightly. He was tackled by Renji but easily kicked him off of his body. "What the fuck do you guys want?" Shiro growled.

"Revenge!" Nel yelled back, stunning the dead berry.

"You killed all of them!" Renji shouted. "Grimmjow, Yoruichi, and you raped and murdered your _own twin_ you sick fuck!" guilt overwhelmed Shiro and he stood straight instead of his ready fighting stance.

"You're right... I fucked Ichi before tearing his heart out... we've been a couple our entire lives and I found out that he was cheating on me with Grimm so I killed him too... but Yoruichi killed herself. I tried to stop her but by the time I-"

"Don't you ever say her name again!" Nel yelled, tears running down her face as she charged at Shiro with a knife though he easily dodged and was able to steal it from her and detain her, holding her own knife to her throat.

"I was talkin ya know... it's impolite to interrupt someone when they're talkin..." he whispered evilly. He was snapping again. "By the fucking time that I finally realized that she was about to kill herself, she had already done it. Now... if you fuckers haven't noticed-" Renji punched him in the face, he was surprised but since he felt less pain than humans, it didn't hurt too bad so he didn't release Nel-pressed the blade harder against her throat even, to force Renji back. "Ah ah ah... that was a bad move Ren... ya don't wanna be responsible for the girl's death now do ya?" Renji growled.

"So what if you didn't kill Yoruichi-you still killed two other people!"

"Three actually..." they both looked shocked and confused. "You fucking idiots are forgetting that I killed _myself_ too! _I_. _Am_. **_Dead_**." he said slowly through his teeth before shoving Nel toward Renji who caught her before turning around to stick the knife into his own grave. "My skin, my eyes, I haven't aged in the last four years... can you not see this? I woke up in a fucking coffin after running a steel blade through my own throat for god's sake! I have no idea how the Hell I'm standing here but I am! _I'm dead_!" he shouted, taking his choker off and throwing it with the rest of the stuff before taking off his neck wrap for the first time and the other two nearly screamed at the sight of the torn flesh. "Yeah does it look like I can fucking be alive with this?" he asked, pointing to it. He sighed, trying to calm down.

"Look, I'm sorry I scared you alright..." he covered his neck again. "But it was the only way to make you listen to me. Right before I killed myself, I asked for the worst punishment for what I had done... this is it." he gestured to himself. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, can't drink, I can't do anything... I'm not hurting anyone but if you guys tell anyone about me then one of two things will happen. One: They won't believe you and you'll be considered crazy or two..." he hesitated but continued. "I'll _have_ to hurt someone... and I really don't wanna do that. All I wanna do is sit here and attempt to make up for what I've done... is that okay with you? Cause I really don't want to have to be watching my back and hiding even more then I am now. Okay?" the other two nodded, terrified.

Shiro motioned them away and they quickly made their leave. Shiro sat in front of Ichigo's grave softly starting to cry. He didn't care if they tried anything. He just wanted Ichigo... that's all he wanted... was to cry on his shoulder and that wanting only reminded him further of what he did, making him cry harder.

"Why are you crying mister?"

* * *

><p><em>Tonight I'm so alone<em>  
><em>This sorrow takes a hold<em>  
><em>Don't leave me here so cold<em>  
><em>(Never want to be so cold)<em>

_Your touch used to be so kind_  
><em>Your touch used to give me life<em>  
><em>I've waited all this time<em>  
><em>I've wasted so much time<em>

_Don't leave me alone_  
><em>Cause I barely see at all<em>  
><em>Don't leave me alone, I'm...<em>

_Falling in the black_  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>

_Dreaming of the way it used to be_  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>Falling in the black<em>  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>  
><em>Falling inside the black<em>  
><em>Falling inside, falling inside the black<em>

_You were my source of strength_  
><em>I've traded everything<em>  
><em>That I love for this one thing<em>  
><em>(Stranded in the offering)<em>  
><em>Don't leave me here like this<em>  
><em>Can't hear me scream from the abyss<em>  
><em>And now I wish for you my desire<em>

_Don't leave me alone_  
><em>Cause I barely see at all<em>  
><em>Don't leave me alone, I'm...<em>

_Falling in the black_  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>

_Dreaming of the way it used to be_  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>Falling in the black<em>  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>  
><em>Falling inside the black<em>  
><em>Falling inside, falling inside the black, black, black, black<em>

_Falling in the black..._  
><em>Slipping through the cracks...<em>

_Falling in the black_  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>

_Dreaming of the way it used to be_  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>Falling in the black<em>  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>

_Falling inside the black_  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>Falling inside the black<em>  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>Falling inside the black<em>  
><em>Can you hear me<em>  
><em>Falling inside...<em>  
><em>Falling inside, falling inside the black<em>

* * *

><p>Who's the mysterious person calling for Shiro? Do they mean him harm? Is it even for him? Will he break down and kill again? What will happen? Ooooooo... suspense... not for long though... it won't take me too long to get the next chapter out. Please review, see ya soon.<p> 


	7. First Day

Ok well uh... yeah...

*bows deeply* Thanks to contestantnumber2, my ideas have just flowed like water for this, thank you so so much, I love you!

Disclaimer: I don't own Afterlife or Avenged Sevenfold... and Shiro seems to think that I don't own Bleach-  
>Shiro: You don't!<br>Me: *hits him* Didn't you're King ever teach you not to interrupt a girl?  
>Ichi: *rubs back of head, chuckling nervously* Uh...<p>

* * *

><p>"W-why... am I... c-crying?" Shiro turned around to see a little seven year old girl with dark orange hair. He felt like he knew this girl but was too depressed to think about it. "Because I've done very... very awful things... terrible things... to people I loved..."<p>

"Well what did you do?" the girl asked, sitting next to him and taking one of his white hands in her gloved ones. Shiro looked at her kind smile, shocked and confused. She huffed out a visible breath at Shiro's hesitance but was patient with him. Was it really that cold out? He suddenly took the girl into his arms, crying on her small shoulder, spilling everything that had happened starting with when his mom died and he left with his friend, who really wasn't his friend, Chad to Tokyo but very rarely left the apartment. Chad worked and payed for it while he did nothing, being dead made him realize that that was wrong. He confessed everything to this little girl in detail, he was going to scar her for life, leaving her with nothing but nightmares of him for the rest of her life. But he just couldn't help it. His top exploded and she asked so he was telling.

"Now everyone hates me..." Shiro mumbled, finally ending with what had just happened before she arrived, letting her go though she never released his hand.

"I don't hate you." Shiro looked up from the ground to see the still smiling girl. Was she not terrified of him, knowing what he did and knowing that he was dead? "You're different than everyone else... and not for the reasons you think."

"Right... you see it in my eyes right? Something sappy like that... am I right?" the girl giggled and crawled onto his lap.

"No silly, it's not what I see in your eyes..." she placed a gloved hand on his chest. "It's what I see here..." Shiro's eyes widened and he finally understood and closed his eyes to the warm touch on his cold skin. That _was_ sappy but Shiro found that he didn't really care because he seen the same thing in her. "You're unique... one of a kind. And you feel so guilty and sad for things you did and even things you haven't done yet. I see _that_ in your eyes." she laughed and stood up, still holding Shiro's hand. "My name is Orihime Inoue, what's yours?" Orihime... why did he know-that's right... she was that little girl at the park four years ago.

"S... Shiro... Kurosaki." he hesitated, having to think about what it was, his tears still flowing.

"Shiro? Will you come home with me? I don't like being alone..." she said sadly, the smile finally leaving her face and Shiro realized that he'd do anything to get it back.

"Alone?" he tried to dry his eyes, trying to be strong for the girl now.

"Mom passed away last year and now uncle pays for the house and food but he only visits every now and again."

"So you live all by yourself?" she nodded. Shiro thought that was ridiculous but also sad that her mom had died recently. He was curious to know how she still smiled when life must be so hard for her right now. "Alright. Uh... I'll take you home. What are you even doing out here by yourself at this hour?" he finally got sense enough to ask.

"I was visiting mom. Her grave is over there." she says, turning to point behind her. Shiro stood up, letting go of the girl's hand to grab his stuff. His hand felt cold now so he was glad that she grabbed it again when he came back to her. They started walking to the exit after he apologized the three for leaving suddenly, promising to be back soon.

"Well didn't you want to see your mom?" Shiro asked, looking back where she had pointed.

"I already have. I was with her before I found you."

"Oh... okay." it was silent for the rest of the trip back to her house.

"You can sleep with me tonight." she said cheerfully as she led him into her room and started changing. Shiro's face reddened and he quickly turned around so his back was facing her. She had nothing to show but that didn't mean that he'd watch. That would just make him a pedophile. "Shiro..." he turned back around, thinking it was safe. She was laying in bed, patting the spot next to her. He felt weird, crawling in bed with a seven year old but he needed the comfort as much or even more than she did. The girl snuggled into his chest as if she'd been doing it for so long, fitting right into him. The dark berry pulled the blankets farther up, thinking about how nice it was to be laying on a bed again before wrapping his arms around the girl's small body.

He thought about how warm she was compared to him, he guessed he'd just gotten used to being so cold that he never even noticed. It didn't take long for the girl to fall fast asleep. He looked at her sleeping face, so sweet and innocent, feeling her warm breath on his chest.

'How did this happen?' he asked himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he started to cry. 'Why is she caring for me? I don't deserve this... any of it. This little girl... Orihime... I'll ruin her... kill her... I'm a monster... I can't be trusted... though I really want to stay, I don't belong here. I need to leave before she gets hurt. I'm supposed to suffer... not be cared for. I can't be..." he cried, wishing he didn't understand this word. "Loved..." he said aloud.

"Shiro?" Orihime asked, waking from his cold tears falling on her face. Shiro opened his eyes to look into the girls tired ones. "Please don't be sad..." he broke into loud sobs, holding her tighter as she started to sing a soft song to him. She stayed up most of the night with the crying teen though dozed off every now and then. He was grateful that she was trying but even just holding her, reminded the darkness of the twin he murdered.

* * *

><p>Shiro quickly rolled over to grab a tan arm just before it brought a knife down into him.<p>

"You're getting quicker." Orihime laughed, taking her hand back and placing it back into the sheath in her hand. She had snuck in, taken his knife off the dresser, and tried to use it against him.

"And you're getting quieter." Shiro complemented the girl as he got out of bed. They had both gotten used to sleeping together so still shared a room and a bed though he left the room before she changed, seeing that she's grown from just a flat chested seven year old to a big boobed seventeen year old. Orihime wasn't a good fighter because she didn't want to be but what she lacked in that field, she made up for in brains. She was strong willed and maybe too kind at times. "But the knife stays here."

"I know, I wouldn't want to take a knife a my first day of collage anyway. But you're gonna take it, aren't you?" she asked, handing Shiro's knife and holster back to him. The blade was the same one that Nel had used against him ten years ago on the night that he met Orihime. It was a long, black blade, the sharpened edge being white with a white ribbon around the handle.

"Yeah I'm taking it." he took it from her and started getting ready, guessing that if she was getting him up then it was almost time to go. "Ya never know who's gonna try mugging a poor, innocent girl on her way to school."

"Hey I'm not _that_ innocent." he gave her a yeah right face and she pouted. It wasn't much longer after that that they were off. They didn't live too far so she was able to stay at her house instead of the dorms and Shiro insisted that he walk her to and from school everyday so he could protect her and simply because he had nothing better to do.

It's been ten years now that he had been with Orihime and fourteen years that he's been dead. Orihime is only seventeen but because of Shiro, she's already in collage. She wants to help him in anyway she can so she's learning as much as she can about everything, just in case in could come in handy. But overall, she's been getting into high Human Biology classes and has aced them all. Shiro's not nearly as educated as she is but when he's able to help her when she struggles he does, even if all he can do if offer his body for her to test on.

One day when Orihime cut yourself while cooking and Shiro licked her finger, he said that it made his throat feel better... made him feel less thirsty. So they experimented with it and when he drinks blood, he can bleed. Whenever he's been cut, it's never bled, no matter how deep... unless he has blood, he can't bleed.

Today he wore baggy black pants with red chains, a black T-shirt under a black and red hoodie, black and red stripped fingerless gloves, a black wrist band on his left arm and a red on his right, black tinted sunglasses with a crimson red frame, and of course Yoruichi's choker.

"Okay, no talking to strangers and stay away from the stoners, they're nothing but trouble." Shiro said as they came up the the campus, keeping his head down as they walked into the crowd. He _really_. _Fucking_. _**Hated**_. People.

"You're one to talk, Mr. Dead Man Walking." Orihime giggled and Shiro just rolled his eyes, spotting a group of people watching them. Out of everyone here there just _had_ to be people watching them in particular.

"Alright Mega Boobs, this is as far as I go." he said, stopping and turning to her. She looked up at him annoyed.

"I really wish you'd stop calling me that."

"As soon as you stop calling me 'Dead Man'." he moved one of his hands out of his jacket pocket to the top of her head, pulling her closer to lightly kiss her forehead. "Please be safe Ori..."

"What are you so worried about? It's just another day at school, collage can't be too different from high school. We'll see each other again in a few hours." she said cheerfully though he still looked sad.

"That's not what I'm worried about... it's the people." he growled, looking around. Orihime moved his hand away from her head and placed her hand on his cold cheek, turning his head beck to face her.

"Don't worry about me okay? I'll text you and meet you back here in a few hours kay?" he nodded and she smiled before kissing his cheek, thanking him and turned to walk onto campus, she kissed his cheek a lot as a kid and it just kinda stuck so it wasn't a surprise. He watched her for a bit before turning around to leave.

* * *

><p>"Sorry I didn't come by last night. I was on my way here when Ori called, saying she had another nightmare... she has a lot of nightmares but more so when I'm not with her. Guess I'm just her security blanket huh?" Shiro asked. He was laying down across the graves again. He still visited them nightly but when he couldn't make it out for at least a few hours of the night, he'd come during the day. "Well... then again, she's mine... she wanted me to tell you guys that she's sorry she's been keeping me home more often than usual with her nightmares. She feels bad so she said that she'd come with me to visit this weekend. Sides she wants to see her mom so I figured I'd go with her there since she's coming here." he thought about that a bit before moving on.<p>

"She's gonna re-stitch me when we get home too. Finally, I can go without wearing these patches." he said, moving the choker slightly to rub the patch on his neck. The stitches that he had now were done poorly, thanks to the simple thread being used but Orihime had gotten actual medical thread and had promised to re-do his stitching when they got home. "The choker should be enough to hide it when it's being held shut so that'll be good..." he talked mostly about Orihime and how worried he was about the girl. He had a bad feeling that something was going to happen to the girl.

Shiro jumped when his phone suddenly started ringing. As he fished it out of his jacket pocket, he was thinking about what had gone wrong for Orihime to be calling him.

"What's wrong?" he answered, worriedly.

"I've been texting you all day, school's almost out, are you here or on your way?" she asked kind of rushed. Shiro pulled the phone away from his ear for a moment to look at the time. She'd be out in less than ten minutes. He could make it in time.

"Yeah I'll be there in eight minutes, I'll be waiting for you at the gate." he said, standing up but not leaving yet.

"Okay I'll see you there in ten then and I'll keep my promise. When we get home, I'll stitch you up right away. I gotta go, love you, bye." she rushed and hung up. Shiro guessed she wasn't allowed to be using her phone so he understood why she was rushing everything but it made him wonder... for her to be breaking the rules, something must be up. He shook it off for now, he'd find out soon enough. He turned and bowed to his family.

"Sorry to be leaving so suddenly, I wasn't paying attention to the time and need to pick Ori up from school. I'll be back hopefully tonight." he called as he started running.

* * *

><p>He was waiting at the gate for Orihime just like he said he would be. People suddenly came rushing out and he was able to spot Orihime easily, she was the only one with such orange hair and the only one heading off campus, toward him. She was running with tears in her eyes. He knew it. He'd kill the bastard who had done this to her. Then the dark berry noticed a few people following her and started walking over until Orihime ran into his arms.<p>

"And who the fuck are you?" Shiro growled at the seemed leader, he was extremely tall and skinny with long black hair. He looked to be in his twenties.

"I could be asking you the same thing kid-"

"Answer the god damn question!" Shiro yelled, his blood boiling to the point his chest burnt.

"Nnoitra Gilga. He and his friends don't like me because they say I'm too young to be here and that I cheated to get in. They threatened me." Orihime explained into his chest.

"Ohh... I get it. You're jealous because she's smarter than you." Shiro chuckled, resting his head on Orihime's, looking at the others smugly.

"Shut your fucking trap kid!" Shiro scowled at his words and gently pushed Orihime behind him. He took off his sunglasses and handed them to her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, taking them and he took his jacket, choker, wrist bands, and his shirt off and handed those to her as well.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm gonna kick his ass and these things are in the way. No one treats you like shit and gets away with it... and I'm gonna make that clear to them." Shiro said calmly, turning to face them again in nothing but his pants, shoes, gloves, and the various patches on his body that hid poorly stitched wounds though they matched his white skin. He only kept his gloves on because he didn't want to bruise his knuckles. They looked surprised by his appearance though one in particular seemed sincerely interested in him.

"Oh so blind white boy's gonna take me out?" Nnoitra laughed and Shiro just smirked, running up to him, dodging the punch he threw, and sending a powerful kick to his stomach.

"Who said anything about me being blind?" Shiro mocked the tall man as he got up from his ass to try to hit him again just to fail miserably. Shiro was so exhilarated to be fighting like this again and he just couldn't help but to have undressed. He had spent too long in the shadows, he had begun to miss the light and he figured it'd been long enough that no one would recognize him.

"I'm the fifth Espada you can't beat me!" Shiro looked at him in question though the evil look and aura never left him.

"Well I don't know what an Espada is but looks like I'm doing a fine job at kicking yer ass." Shiro distantly heard someone calling over the fight. A teacher was coming. He was regretting this so much now and it would only get worse later but he turned around and started to push Orihime away. "Come on we gotta go before you get in trouble." he said, taking his jacket back but couldn't put it on with Nnoitra running up behind them.

"Where are you going? Get your ass back here!" Shiro spun around at the last second to punch him, sending him back.

"I'm not running away-I will _never_ run away from a fight even if they're not worth it. I'm not getting her in trouble because of you so I'm gonna let you deal with the teacher but I'll tell ya what... if you leave her name out of this-blame me if you want but leave her outta it and I'll meet you back here tomorrow and we can go fight somewhere else. Deal?" Shiro asked, slipping his arms through his jacket and pulling his hood over his head but didn't zip it up so his bare chest was still exposed. Nnoitra looked around angrily but nodded and so Shiro turned back around to quickly lead Orihime off campus just before the teacher got there.

* * *

><p>It was silent for awhile as Shiro redressed though he really didn't want to but he didn't want to make Orihime carry all of his stuff more.<p>

"Thank you." Orihime finally said. Shiro looked at her with caring eyes. He wanted to tell her not to thank him but he understood why she was.

"You're welcome." he said with a gentle smile as he pulled his hood up, now fully covered up again. He had forgotten in just this short time how much he hated being covered from head to toe. When he got home, he was stripping down to his boxers.

* * *

><p><em>Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen.<em>  
><em>So unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you.<em>  
><em>Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste.<em>  
><em>Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway.<em>

_I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right._  
><em>Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be,<em>  
><em>Arrived too early.<em>

_And when I think of all the places I just don't belong,_  
><em>I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far.<em>

_I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear, escape from this afterlife._  
><em>'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here.<em>

_A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain._  
><em>Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you.<em>  
><em>Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste.<em>  
><em>Of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway.<em>

_This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)._  
><em>No pain or sign of time (I'm much too young to fall).<em>  
><em>So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign.<em>  
><em>I've made up my mind.<em>

_Give me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye._  
><em>Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life.<em>

_I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear, escape from this afterlife._  
><em>'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here.<em>  
><em>Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you.<em>  
><em>This place full of peace and light, and I'd hoped you might,<em>  
><em>Take me back inside, when the time is right.<em>

_Loved ones back home all crying 'cause they're already missing me._  
><em>I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening.<em>  
><em>Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be.<em>  
><em>(I am unbroken, I'm choking on this ecstasy.)<em>  
><em>Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me<em>  
><em>(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live.)<em>

_I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife._  
><em>'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here.<em>  
><em>Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you.<em>  
><em>This place full of peace and light, and I'd hoped you might,<em>  
><em>Take me back inside when the time is right.<em>

* * *

><p>Well... some contentment at last ^-^<p>

I hope everyone likes it and I'm sorry if I left any details out, I was trying to make up for ten years so yeah. I was trying to get all the details in but if I forgot something then I'll add it later so please bear with me. I'll probably pick up again right after she's done stitching him up cuz I'm not gonna detail that til next time he tears himself open-whoops... did I just say that? No! *swings a clock* You didn't hear anything... anyway, *puts watch away* Please review and I'll see you next chapter that I'm gonna get to work on right now.


	8. A Night Out

Sorry I haven't really known what to say lately... been too depressed but I'm getting better... maybe... anyway... I know that I had this chapter pretty much planned out so I didn't need any help but I still want to thank contestantnumber2 for just being plain out awesome! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Never Gonna be Alone or Nickelback... but Shiro's still being mean to me about owning Bleach! *starts crying*  
>Shiro: It's the truth! She's delusional-she really does <em>not<em> own Bleach!  
>Me: *ninjaly disappears in a cloud of smoke, reappearing behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder* No one believes you Shiro...<br>Shiro: *spins around to face me* How'd you just do that?  
>Me: Do what? *disappears again*<p>

* * *

><p>Shiro rolled his shoulder again, feeling stiffer than usual but was just glad that those patches were finally off after fourteen years and that his wounds were finally as close to "healed" as they would ever get.<p>

"Will you stop messing with it?" Orihime asked though it sounded more like a command. He dropped his arm to look at her in annoyance.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." he trailed off, rubbing his for once bare neck, his white fingers meeting the dark stitches. He wasn't wearing anything other than swim trunks, patches not included. "Are we there yet?" they were walking to a nearby lake that no one really went to anymore so it was the perfect place for them to go and they were going as a treat for Shiro because he never could get in because of his open wounds but now, they were closed so Orihime was taking him.

"Almost, hold your horses." she smiled.

"I have horses?" he asked, a dumbfounded expression on his face but it was replaced by a smile when she rolled her eyes. The dark berry ran his eyes and his fingers over his arm, tracing the word "Regret" in the stitches. He suddenly looked up when he heard running water. "Hey I hear it!" Shiro exclaimed, grabbing the red head's hand and rushing over. When he came to it, he released Orihime's hand and jumped in. He was so excited, he felt like such an impatient child but didn't care at the moment, he was back in the water after fourteen years. He surfaced to see Orihime undressing down to her swimming suit under her clothes. "Haha... this is great! Come on!" he laughed.

"I'm coming, hold on." Orihime walked over to the edge and looked around for Shiro but couldn't find him. Suddenly she was pulled in by her ankle. They both surfaced, Orihime gasping for air and Shiro laughing. Orihime splashed water on him. "That wasn't funny!" she exclaimed though started to laugh too.

* * *

><p>Shiro sighed in contentment, feeling like things were finally coming together.<p>

"Thank you Orihime..." they turned slightly to see each other. They were laying on their backs on the grass so the tops of their heads were nearly touching, looking up at the sky. "For bringing me here and for taking such good care of me." she smiled and nodded.

"You're welcome." there was a content silence for a bit until Orihime spoke again. "You know... for being dead for over fourteen years you... you seem more alive than anyone else I know." Shiro felt confused and turned his head toward his friend.

"What are you talking about? I can't eat, drink, bleed, sleep, dream, die even... do you know how many times I've tried to kill myself? A lot. And I was only successful the first time but because I asked to suffer for what I did to Grimm and Ichi... here I am. Does that sound very 'alive' to you?"

"Well no but that's not what I meant. When we met I told you that I seen something in your heart that no one else had and you really seemed to understand. I know that you understand it even more now and well... you _do_ have a heart Shiro... you have a soul... a very kind one. You've helped me too you know. Without you... I wouldn't be me." Shiro wanted to object, to point out that he raped Ichi and tore his heart out but ended up simply returning her smile though she couldn't see it and he couldn't see the dark shade of blush invading her cheeks.

"Likewise. Without you... I probably would have never smiled again." he didn't turn to face her, just smiled up at the sky. He was serious.

"Yeah I can't imagine Mr. Dead Man smiling if I hadn't come along and saved him."

"Hey!" he flipped around onto his stomach to see her. "That's not... I... pfft..." he laid back down, angry that she was right. "Mega Boobs..."

"Paranoid." Orihime shot back.

"Brat."

"Whitey." Shiro flipped around again, raising his voice.

"Ginger!" she turned around too, their faces only inches away from the others.

"Killer!" Orihime exclaimed, raising her voice as well.

"Pris!"

"Obsessive!" they both shouted together before shutting up to start at each other. A few moments had passed before they both burst into laughter. They rested their foreheads on the others and calmed down, looking at each other. It was quite for awhile before Shiro finally closed his eyes, sighed, and pulled away.

"We outta get going." Orihime sighed as well but agreed. Nothing could happen between them... it was wrong and Shiro didn't want to take anything away from her that she could experience with someone more... alive.

* * *

><p>Just when he thought they were about to start kissing, the white one... what did the woman call him? Shiro? He moved and suggested that they leave. The raven stood and quickly left, thinking about what they had been talking about.<p>

'Shiro is dead? He's been dead for fourteen years? Impossible.' the pale man thought, leaving the way he had come.

* * *

><p>Shiro sighed in relief when they walked into their house. Orihime was going through the mail, and handed an envelop to him. He took it, knowing what it was. It was the money that her uncle had sent for this month. He had only come to visit a few times in the last ten years, more when she was a kid then now. Shiro dealt with the money expect for buying the groceries, Orihime dealt with buying the food cause she was the chief of the house, the dark berry didn't really like to cook because it reminded him that he couldn't eat the delicious smelling food but knew how to thanks to the red head.<p>

He pulled out the money and walked into the bedroom to put it in his wallet, not even bothering to count it, knowing that there would be nearly 76700 yen (a thousand dollars) before walking back out. He was about to throw the envelop away when he noticed another piece of paper in it, pulling it out he read it silently to himself.

"Shit..." he groaned, unhappy.

"What?" Orihime called from the bathroom.

"Your uncle is coming to visit this weekend." Shiro called back to her and she came out, brushing her still damp hair to read the letter.

"Oh okay..." she said, placing it on the counter before walking back into the bathroom.

"Okay? You promised you'd go to the cemetery with me this weekend." he sighed, he hated having to leave when he came. One day he was gonna have to meet the man. "You're explaining this to Ichi." Orihime laughed and walked into the bedroom to get dressed, closing the door behind her.

"Alright let me get dressed and we'll go."

"Well I need to get some clothes too so hurry and cover up." he called, waiting by the door.

"Hold on." he waited for a minute. "Okay come in." she called so he walked in. She was looking back at him with nothing but a towel to cover her. He smirked, trying not to stare as he started to grab some clothes. He was used to this, they did this to each other a lot. After he had collected his clothes, he snuck one last glance at the red head before leaving, shutting the door behind himself and walked into the bathroom to change. "Hey Shiro?" the darkness heard Orihime's voice on the other side of the door. He opened it, having already changed into his black boxer briefs. She was wearing black shorts and a white sports bra.

"Yeah?" he asked, carrying his clothes over to the couch.

"Well uh... I was thinking well..." she trailed off, her face reddening as she played with her hair. Shiro turned to look at her confused, pulling his black skinny jeans up. "Uh... well I was wondering if you were... okay with going out for dinner tonight? It'd be the first time we've ever gone together." Shiro looked at her and sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You don't have to I just-" she stopped when the dark berry moved to place a hand on top of her head and kissed her forehead.

"I wasn't sighing at you. Of course I'll go." he smiled before patting her head. "Now go get dressed so we can go." she smiled back and nodded, heading back into the room. Shiro's smile disappeared the moment the door clicked shut. He sighed again, sitting down to put his socks on. As much as he had tried to deny it... she had fallen for him... and him for her.

* * *

><p>After a quick stop by the graves, they went to a Ramen Shop, nothing too big for Shiro's sake. Orihime ordered Miso Ramen and Shiro had to repeat himself several times that he didn't want anything which pissed him off but Orihime kept him calm. Their waiter was flirting with the unknowing red head but all Shiro could do to not tear his head off was clench his fists and bit his lip until they bleed but then hide to hide the blood. He hated the taste of his own blood though he used to love it when he was alive. Now that he was dead, it held a very sour taste... he liked it a lot better when it was sweet though since it was Orihime's blood from cutting herself, which he swore she did on purpose, while stitching him up, he could faintly taste her blood mixed with his. A terrible taste does not go good with a great one.<p>

When he finally told the waiter to piss off, he left without much fuss. Shiro calmed down from that and tried not to focus on the glorious smell of food but found it easy when he got to see Orihime's bright smile as she talked to him so it wasn't all that bad. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a dark red short sleeved shirt, a plain silver belt, his red and black skater shoes, his sunglasses, and Yoruichi's choker. While Orihime wore a simple tan long skirt, a pale yellow long sleeved shoulderless shirt, a purple tang top under it, and black flats.

"So where to now Mr. Dead Man?" Orihime chuckled as they exited the shop. Shiro looked around as he stood in front of the girl, taking her hand.

"Well Mega Boobs... I figured we'd go to the park on this beautiful night." they started walking.

"Are we going to howl together under the full moon?" Orihime chuckled and Shiro gave a false gasp.

"Are you reading my mind?" the girl laughed. "How are you doing that?" Shiro couldn't help but to chuckle.

"Yes in fact I am. You wanna scream right now." he smiled and let out a loud scream and Orihime covered her ears, laughing. Everyone around them looked at him like he was a deranged idiot.

"What? Haven't you people ever just wanted to scream for no reason?" Shiro asked, holding out his hands and giving everyone the same look they were giving him. "Pfft... freaks." with that, he took his red head's hand and started walking again.

* * *

><p>"Did you see that? That was awesome!" Orihime laughed, sitting on a swing.<p>

"Dur you idiot, I'm the one who did it." Shiro mocked happily as he started lightly pushing her. There was silence as they watched the full moon in front of them. Shiro moved to sit on the swing next to the girl.

"Shiro?"

"Hm?" he asked, still looking at the moon.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if things were different between us?" Shiro turned to look at her red face and sighed, running a hand through his hair. Instead of answering, he smiled, lifted his head and howled. Orihime looked at him and laughed.

"Come on, join in." Shiro stopped momentarily to say before starting up again and Orihime followed. When they were finished, they looked at the moon, avoiding the others glance. They both knew that it was wrong to love they other anything more than brother and sister or even friends but they just couldn't help it. Shiro finally looked at her and she smiled at him. "How can you always smile even when things are at their worst?"

"Well... that's because I want you to smile too..." she answered shyly. Shiro looked down.

"Ori I know that things could be different but they... they can't be... it's not fair for me to do this to you and I'm sorry but I just don't know what else to do here, I'm just as lost as you are." Shiro said quietly, standing up and walking a few feet away. Orihime stood by his side and wrapped her arms around him.

"I know you are and I want to help... you help me so much just by being at my side and I want to return the favor and do so much more. Anything you need me to do, I will. I just don't want you to hurt anymore... I want you to be happy." he was about to answer but found that he didn't know what to say. "I want you to be happy with me." all he could think to do was take her into his arms and hold her close.

"I am happy with you Orihime... I've always been happy with you."

* * *

><p>As they walked back into the house, they kind of looked at each other awkwardly.<p>

"I'll uh... I'll take the couch tonight..." of course he didn't actually sleep but over the years, he was able to find a way that he can turn off all of his senses as if he were asleep but he was still aware of everything around him. They referred to this as "Zoning".

"Okay... I'll uh... be in the bedroom then... if you change your mind..." Shiro nodded and they parted ways. Shiro sighed and stripped down to his boxer briefs before laying on the couch, pulling the blanket that was hung over the side around himself.

A few hours had passed and he still couldn't find his zone. He heard a door open and looked up to see Orihime slowly walking out of the room.

"Can't sleep?" she shook her head. He held the blanket up and she laid with him. He laid the blanket over her, making sure that it covered her completely before getting comfortable, resting his head on hers. Some time had passed and the girl was still awake. "You wanna talk about it?" Shiro asked and she nodded against his chest. "What do you wanna do?" she shrugged. "Well come on, I'm giving you jurisdiction here." she shook her head.

"No we both need to figure something out, not just me. You're apart of this too." Shiro let out a long, heavy sigh as he rubbed his eyes and Orihime looked up at him.

"I think... we shouldn't do anything about it... for now, we should just hang back and see how things play out... agreed?" Orihime nodded.

"Agreed." it wasn't long after that that the girl pretended to be asleep and actually fell asleep a few minutes later. Shiro kissed her head, tears slowly making their way down his face as he thought about how his own words had hurt him and knew that they had hurt her too.

* * *

><p><em>Time, is going by, so much faster than I<em>  
><em> And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you<em>  
><em> Now I'm wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside<em>  
><em> So I'm starting to regret not telling all of it to you<em>  
><em> So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...<em>

_ You're never gonna be alone_  
><em> From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go<em>  
><em> I won't let you fall...<em>  
><em> You're never gonna be alone<em>  
><em> I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone<em>

_And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands_  
><em> 'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you<em>  
><em> So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...<em>

_ You're never gonna be alone_  
><em> From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go<em>  
><em> I won't let you fall...<em>  
><em> When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on<em>  
><em> We're gonna see the world out<em>  
><em> I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone<em>

_ Oh!_  
><em> You've gotta live every single day<em>  
><em> Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?<em>  
><em> Don't let it slip away<em>  
><em> Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun<em>  
><em> Every single day<em>  
><em> Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?<em>  
><em> Tomorrow never comes...<em>

_ Time, is going by, so much faster than I_  
><em> And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you<em>

_ You're never gonna be alone_  
><em> From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go<em>  
><em> I won't let you fall<em>  
><em> When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on<em>  
><em> We're gonna see the world out<em>  
><em> I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone<em>

_ I'm gonna be there always_  
><em> I won't be missing one more day<em>  
><em> I'm gonna be there always<em>  
><em> I won't be missing one more day<em>

* * *

><p>Sorry for the late post but it's here now-so rejoice my children! ...sorry, I'm being weird today... better than depressed right? ^-^ Anyway, reviews muchly gratituded XD<p> 


	9. Time For Change

Okay every time I tell you want he's wearing, just remember that he's always wearing the choker Yoruichi made him cuz I'm tired of repeating it so just remember that he _always_ wears it unless I say otherwise. Thank you contestantnumber2 and I gotta thank my twin and other self, The-Fanfic-Mafia-101 cuz without her I wouldn't have been able to get over that last bump I ran into for this chapter-I love you both so fucking much! And I'm sorry about the late update, I've been busy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Call Your Name or Daughtry but I own Ble-  
>Shiro: No you don't!<br>Me: *stares at him for awhile before starting to cry* Ichi...  
>Ichi: What's wrong? *holds me*<br>Me: Shiro's... being... mean to me... again...  
>Ichi: *glares at him*<br>Grimm: *cracks his knuckles, slowly walking closer to him*  
>Me: *smiles evilly*<p>

* * *

><p>Shiro was already waiting at the gates of Orihime's school, waiting for her and that skinny bastard. He was wearing dark jeans, a bring orange T-shirt that hurt to wear because it reminded him of Ichigo, a pure black cap, and his favorite black and red skater shoes. He was early by at least ten minutes. He sighed, leaning against the brick wall as he pulled his hat down over his eyes. The darkness sighed again in frustration when he sensed someone that wasn't his Ori coming near him.<p>

"What do you want?" he growled, not looking to see who it was. By the sound of their foot steps, it was a man who was light on his feet and by his soft breathing, he was trying to sneak up on the darkness. Shiro chuckled at the impossible task.

"Just to talk." he said, his voice calm and emotionless. Shiro looked up irritatedly at the man standing before him. He was extremely pale with deep green eyes and green lines running down his cheeks that looked like tears. "I want to know who you are." Shiro just snickered and looked away. "Would it help you if I told you that I knew you were dead?" Shiro's eyes widened and his head snapped to see the other man. "So it is true." he said more to himself.

'Fuck... why the Hell did I react?' the dark berry thought to himself. "What do you want?" he growled again, knowing better than to just say he didn't know what he was talking about. That would only make him stupid, he caught himself the moment he showed a reaction to the others words.

"I don't want anything." he said turning to walk away.

"Bull fucking shit!" Shiro yelled after him, clenching his fists. "Everyone wants something so don't you dare give me that shit!" he had learned that listen a lot harder than he ever wanted. 'Everyone wants something...' these words played constantly in his mind. The dark haired man stopped and slightly turned to see the dead boy, gazing momentarily down at his watch.

"If you insist that I want something, dinner tonight at your house will do just fine." with that he left, leaving Shiro to wonder what the Hell he was up to.

* * *

><p>"Oh you mean Ulquiorra-san?" Orihime sang happily. She had said that today had been a lot better than yesterday because one of the Espada had accepted her so no one dared messed with her and that Shiro was thrown in the deal as well. Nnoitra was beaten badly by Ulquiorra because he refused to leave the boy alone.<p>

"Yeah sure... that bastard." Shiro mumbled as the red head started looking around in the pantry for something to cook for their guest. 'What the Hell is he planning? He knows that I'm dead, he accepts Orihime, he takes care of Twig for me, and all he fucking wants is dinner? Bull. Fucking. Shit. I'm not buying any of it... but I just can't understand what he really-' he stopped his thoughts when the hand waving in front of his face grabbed his shoulder and Orihime's face and voice came back into his reach. She looked worried but smiled when he finally realized that she was there.

"Zoning?"

"Yeah sorry..." he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. He had to figure this guy's plan out before something terrible happened.

* * *

><p>Orihime made conversation with the white raven, mostly about school and work. She was planning on getting a job and Ulquiorra was giving some suggestions even saying that he would talk to his father and get her a spot working for him where the other also worked. Ulquiorra looked over to Shiro for the first time that night and Shiro just glared back. Orihime set a plate in front of him and sat down with one for her but the darkness sat with nothing, his arms folded tightly over his chest.<p>

"Are you not eating?" Ulquiorra asked.

"Uh... he doesn't eat very much at-"

"I can't you fucking bastard!" Shiro interrupted, yelling at the older man as he began to calmly eat.

"Interesting..." was all the raven said and Shiro was about ready to punch him.

"Shiro! Time out, five minutes, go to the room!" Orihime shouted with mother like authority, pointing in the direction of their room. The dark berry threw his hands down on the table as he abruptly stood up.

"You're not my fucking mother! Have you forgotten that she died along with every other fucking person I loved?" he yelled, pushing off the table, causing it to scrape against the floor a bit. "And you wonder why we could never work out. You're such a fucking child! I don't need you!" with that, he left, slamming the front door behind himself.

"I'm really sorry about him, you're just the first person he's had to deal with for a long time." Orihime apologized.

"Because he's dead?" the red head's eyes widened.

"H... how did you know?" she asked.

"I followed you guys to the river the other day and you were talking about it. I confronted him on it earlier and he blew up on me then. He thinks that there's a catch to everything I'm doing." the raven replied calmly, continuing to eat.

"Oh... and... is there?" Orihime asked cautiously. Ulquiorra looked at her with blank green eyes.

"No. I'm interested in both of you and that's all the reason I need to do what I am." he finished eating and looked back at the girl. "I was hoping he would tell me his story tonight but I suppose I haven't earned that yet." he stood and Orihime followed him to the door.

"You're not going to tell anyone are you?"

"Of course not." Ulquiorra said, getting his shoes on before pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to the younger girl. "This is my cell number and my address. Please call me and keep me up on everything that happens if that's not too much to ask and please give it to Shiro as well, I would like to speak with him." Orihime nodded as he opened the door. "Oh and the Espada are all coming over to my house tomorrow after school if you two would like to come you are welcome anytime." the girl nodded again and smiled. Ulquiorra was about to leave but Orihime grabbed his hand and he turned back around to face her. He looked at her curiously when he seen that tears were streaming down her face.

"Thank you..."

"You're not crying because of me are you?" Orihime shook her head. Ulquiorra didn't deal with this kind of shit but he figured he oughta be nice so he patted her head and smiled softly. "I'm sure Shiro didn't mean what he said. As you said, he was just upset. Things will be better tomorrow." Orihime smiled up at him and hugged him tightly, thanking him. The raven just patted her back awkwardly, indicating that she could let go. She did, backing away in embarrassment, her cheeks red.

"Sorry..."

"I'll see you at school tomorrow." Orihime nodded and waved goodbye as he left. What was this feeling?

* * *

><p>"I don't need you!" Shiro yelled at me and turned his back. I reached for him, calling his name but he never looked back.<p>

"But I need you! I need you so much Shiro-please come back!" I called as I ran for him but was never able to reach him. The floor beneath me gave out and I fell through never ending darkness. I finally hit the ground just to find that I was now engulfed in dark water. It didn't take long for all the air to escape my lungs. I extended my hand to the surface, trying to reach someone and seen Shiro. I tried calling for him but couldn't breathe, he just stood there, staring at me blankly as I went farther and farther under.

* * *

><p>Orihime shot up out of bed, sweating and panting. Instantly, she reached for her phone and dialed Shiro's number but just before she could call, a white hand grabbed hers and shut the phone. She hurried into Shiro's arms, sobbing into his chest as he stroked her hair soothingly, promising that everything would be alright.<p>

"Please... don't ever... leave me."

"I won't... I swear I won't." a few slow tears escaped Shiro's eyes, feeling so terribly guilty. "I'm so sorry for what I said Orihime... I'm so sorry. I need you-I do. I need you so so very much." he whispered into her hair, his tears flowing harder now.

"I n-need you t-too." she choked out, clinging to him like the world was about to end. Shiro sat holding her, even after she was fast asleep in his arms. Singing to her like she had to him for all these years.

* * *

><p>Shiro was glad to see that Orihime was herself after she woke up and they both acted as if nothing had happened, not wanted to bask in it. The white being was currently waiting for her at the gate and he sighed when he noticed that she was with a large group, last night's guest and that skinny bastard from before being two of them.<p>

"Hey Shiro!" Orihime called, waving. He waved back slightly and started toward them, keeping his hood low. "Last night after you left, Ulquiorra-san invited us over for the day. Would you like to go?"

"What?" skinny yelled. "The Hell are you doing, inviting this scum?"

"It's my house, I will let in who I chose." Ulquiorra answered emotionlessly.

"Why the Hell would I want to go?" Shiro asked coldly. "Sitting around with a bunch of low lives? No thanks."

"Who the Hell are you calling low life? Do you know who the fuck you're-"

"Quite frankly I don't really care." he cut in on Nnoitra before holding his hand out for Orihime. "Come on Ori, I have a surprise for you at home." she smiled and took his hand just to hold it but when she didn't move Shiro looked at her in question.

"I wanna go." the darkness sighed deeply and looked the group over. He didn't want to go but he sure as Hell wasn't about to leave his Ori with them.

"You know I'm starting to think that you're trying to kill me with all these people." the red head just giggled.

* * *

><p>Shiro was introduced to all ten members of the Espada. The first Espada was Coyote Starrk, second Baragan Louisenbairn, third Tier Harribel, forth Ulquiorra Cifer, fifth Nnoitra Gilga, sixth Luppi Antenor, seventh Zommari Rureaux, eighth Szayel Aporro Granz, ninth Aaroniero Arruruerie, and the tenth was Yammy Llargo. All of them were tattooed with their ranking on different locations of their bodies, some revived them others didn't.<p>

"Hey Shiro did you know that there were other Espada?" Luppi asked in that annoying, girly voice of his and the darkness sighed folding his arms tighter over his chest.

"And how the fuck am I _supposed_ to know if I'm just figuring out that your little organization even exists?"

"Well it's true. There were two others."

"So there were twelve?" Shiro asked with no interest, trying to ignore the smaller man.

"No... there was a different third and sixth. But the previous six was killed by some psycho fourteen years ago." Shiro's eyes widened though no one noticed through his dark sunglasses. Orihime and Ulquiorra seemed to sense the change in the darkness and watched him closely. "And the third before Haribel is still in a mental institute.

"Who were they?" Shiro practically growled, praying to whatever god there might be that he was wrong. He remembered one day at the swimming pool, he had seen a weird looking black tattoo on Nel's back but most of it was covered by her top and when he walked in on Grimmjow and Ichigo, he hadn't noticed at the time but there was a gothic black six on Grimmjow's lower right back. Luppi smirked.

"The previous third was Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck." Shiro felt a bit guilty for sending her to the loony house but it was her own damn fault. "And my superior..." the dark berry clenched his teeth and fists as tight as he could, trying to stop his heart from hurting before the full force of the pain hit. Orihime was watching him carefully, eyes full to the brim with concern. She knew the story as well as he did and she had pieced the clues together as well.

"Oh guess what-one time when I was little-"

"Orihime... please-not now." Shiro growled through his clenched teeth and everyone looked at him. "I need to hear this..." he said softer, with a bit of an apologetic tone and his red head just nodded and smiled sadly. He looked back at Luppi, asking for the name.

"The previous six... his name was Grimmjow Jeagerjaques." that did it. Shiro's heart sank so far down he wasn't sure if even Orihime could reach it anymore.

"Shiro?" Orihime asked worriedly.

"What do you know about what happened or who else was involved with Grimmjow's death?" Shiro asked, sounding more hurt to say those words than any other.

"My you sure do seem interested in these old ghost stories. Some idiot killed him and that's all I know-" he stopped when Shiro suddenly stood up from his spot on the floor and pulled Luppi off the couch and off of the ground by the collar of his shirt. The other Espada didn't care, no one liked him and if he couldn't take care of himself then oh well.

"Two other fucking people died that same day you bastard! And a third the following week! Four fucking people died and so many more lives were crushed because of that "idiot"'s actions-how fucking dare you talk so lightly about it as if it were just some shit someone made up! You don't even care that Grimmjow was murdered because you've never once visited his grave have you-no! You fucking worthless piece of shit!" Shiro yelled, throwing him across the room and into a wall.

"What the Hell's your fucking problem? Why the fuck does it matter so much?" Luppi yelled back at him from the ground. Everyone was watching him like he was a fucking monster... but that's what he was. He quickly made his way out of the house with Orihime calling after him. When outside, he gripped the railing, not realizing that he was bending the metal beneath his hands.

"That was quite a show. Are you alright?" the moment the person spoke, the darkness chuckled low and it slowly turned into a long, drawn out psychotic laugh.

"Ya know-I don't even fucking know anymore!" he exclaimed, holding his head as tears streamed rapidly down his face and he sat on the steps. "I'm such a fucking monster!" he didn't care who had come out, he couldn't stop his words from flowing as fast as his tears. He knew it wasn't Orihime, it was a man but his mind was in too much of a mess to figure out who and he didn't care. He spilled everything, down to the last little detail. Ulquiorra was the one who had sat next to him and for some reason, he felt relieved. "I fucking killed people who didn't deserve to die, I'm keeping Ori from having a normal, happy life, and I don't deserve any of the kindness that I've gotten in the past ten years. You know what I deserve? I deserve to be the one in the fucking ground-in my empty fucking grave! That's where I should be! In the ground as a fucking skeleton! That's what I deserve!"

"There's a reason you're here Shiro. You killed people and you feel bad about it, that's more than any other killer could say. Orihime would be lost and unhappy without you, stop looking at the negative and see how happy you make her. Isn't that what's most important? And who gives a damn if you don't deserve to be here? You're here so make the best of it." Ulquiorra said calmly.

"Oh fuck you. Cut the shit-I'm a monster, I raped my own twin brother before tearing his heart out and then put it in as the prize for a fucking fight to the death with his boyfriend and then finally did the world a favor and offed myself." without thinking, Shiro laid his head on the others shoulder to try and calm his migraine.

"Fine, you're a monster and we all know it. But the next step is not caring. You're not here for the world, you're here for Orihime and you're here for you. That's all you need." Ulquiorra said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to try and comfort him.

"No one else wants to admit it and-"

"But even though you're a monster, people still care about you and want you to be happy. So stop crying okay?" Shiro looked at him kind of shocked. "I'm here whenever you need to talk and it's easy for me to get out of class as well so if you need me, you can call and we can meet up alright?" the dead boy's expression remained the same. "I'll be here for you. Promise." he said, rubbing his arm. Shiro looked down before slowly grabbing onto the others shirt. "Shi-" his eyes widened when he was brought down to meet the teen's lips.

* * *

><p><em>You never said, you never said, you never said that it would be this hard<em>  
><em> Love is meant to be forever, now or never seems to discard<em>  
><em> There's gotta be a better way for me to say<em>  
><em> What's on my heart without leaving scars<em>  
><em> So can you hear me when I call your name?<em>

_ And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?_  
><em> There's so much to be said<em>  
><em> And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low<em>  
><em> Can you hear me when I call your name?<em>  
><em> When I call your name<em>

_ Complicated situations are the makings of all that's wrong_  
><em> And I've been standing in the river of deliverance way too long<em>  
><em> There's gotta be a better way for me to say<em>  
><em> What's on my heart without leaving scars<em>  
><em> So can you hear me when I call your name?<em>  
><em> So can you hear me when I call your name?<em>

_ And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?_  
><em> There's so much to be said<em>  
><em> And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low<em>  
><em> Can you hear me when I call your name?<em>

_ You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said_  
><em> When I call your name<em>  
><em> You never said, you never said, you never said, you never said<em>  
><em> When I call your name<em>

_ And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?_  
><em> There's so much to be said<em>  
><em> And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low<em>  
><em> Can you hear me when I call your name?<em>

_ And when you fall apart am I the reason for your endless sorrow?_  
><em> There's so much to be said<em>  
><em> And with a broken heart your walls can only go down but so low<em>  
><em> Can you hear me when I call your name?<em>

* * *

><p>Haha there's a little something for you to figure out. Hope you enjoyed. Please review, I really enjoy reading what you guys have to say and sorry again for the wait, see ya next chapter.<p> 


	10. There's a First Time for Everthing

I really think that everyone will _really_ love this chapter and that's all I'll say. ^-^ Thank you contestantnumber2 for the random ideas you give me, they help a lot and I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Forgiven or Skillet but I really _really_... have _no_ idea... *finishes quickly* what Shiro is on when he says that I don't own Bleach.  
>Shiro: HA! *replays a recorder to hear my voice* "I don't own Bleach." *replays again* "I don't own-"<br>Me: *shoots it out of his hand, leaving him with only half of it* Any questions? *hides the gun*  
>Shiro: *quickly shakes head*<p>

* * *

><p>Shiro stayed in the kiss for a few minutes when he was encouraged by the other to deepen it. Their tongues danced and played, the only one fighting was Shiro and Ulquiorra gladly gave him all the dominance. When he pulled away, he looked into Ulquiorra's lust filled eyes with his own but shook his head and stood up.<p>

"Thanks I feel a lot better now."

"Call me whenever you feel down again." Ulquiorra said, trying to return his voice to the emotionless tone it's always at as he walked back inside. Shiro smirked at the slight seductiveness in his voice and walked back in with him.

"Will do." he mumbled more to himself. They went back downstairs to the basement living room where everyone else was, acting as if nothing had happened, actually being able to pull it off. Ulquiorra sat next to Harribel and Starrk, watching them play video games and Shiro sat next to Orihime who wrapped her arms around him.

"Are you alright?" she asked concerned and he just smiled and nodded. She didn't seem fully convinced but she did seem to understand that he was at least calmed down. The next few hours had gone by and two of Orihime's friends had called and she had invited them over for dinner. Shiro knew she had done it mostly to get him home because he looked uncomfortable and frustrated.

"Later." Starrk called, not looking up from his video game.

"Will you come again?" Ulquiorra asked and Orihime nodded.

"Maybe when it's not so crowded." Shiro added and Ulquiorra nodded as the two left but before Shiro lost sight of the white raven, he could've sworn he saw a soft smile on his lips. He smirked though it turned into a smile of his own as he continued to follow his red head up the stairs.

* * *

><p>Shiro turned the TV off and headed into their bedroom when he sensed two people coming up to the door.<p>

"Where are you going?" Orihime asked as she finished setting the table.

"To bed." Shiro replied blankly. "You're guests are here and I've had enough of people for three weeks but since I'm so nice to you I might come out and say hi later." Orihime was about to object when someone knocked on the door. "I'll just be in here if ya need me." he said as he shut the door. He heard the red head sigh but left him alone to answer the door. The dead boy sighed deeply as he laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He turned his head to see Nel's knife on the dresser and grabbed it, pulling it out of it's sheath to play with it. He heard their muffled voices but didn't listen to what they were saying. Suddenly feeling really depressed, he lifted up his left arm to read it.

"Regret..." he read the word aloud, all the guilt and sorrow engulfing him once more. He had something else to put on the list of things he had done wrong. "How could I have kissed Ulquiorra... I love Orihime not him, I don't even know him..." he sighed again as he held the blade to his wrist. "I hurt her..." he ran the blade along his white skin, leaving a shallow wound in it's place. Having had blood earlier, he allowed his blood to drip onto his chest. "I don't deserve her..." he said, running the sharp blade across his skin again though this cut being deeper. "She needs someone better..." another cut and the blood ran faster, staining his orange shirt crimson. "Someone who can give her a life of light." another cut, deeper than the rest. "Not in the shadows." he was about to add a fourth cut but stopped. 'I wonder how Ichi felt...' he thought, pointing the tip of the blade at his heart as he sat up. "Knock it off Shiro." he told himself, putting the knife down to hold his head.

He sat there for at least an hour, listening to the stories and the laughs the girls in the other room shared. Shiro remembered how his family had done stuff like that and he only laughed when Ichigo did to make the berry happy that he was at least making an effort. He hadn't cared about his family... and now that they were gone... they were the second most important thing to him. He sighed as he stood up, deciding to go out. First he wrapped his arm and changed his shirt before taking a deep breath and opened the door. What he saw took him by complete surprise. Sitting on the couch with Orihime... was Yuzu and Karin! They were much older, having turned twenty three awhile ago. Why did this have to be happening to him, now of all times? Karin's head slowly turned toward him when she finally sensed him there and knowing she couldn't see him, he hid.

"So do you guys have any other family?" Orihime asked, recapturing Karin's attention and there was a long uncomfortable silence.

"I... Ichi-nii..." Yuzu's shaky voice cried softly and the white being heard moving, guessing that her twin had wrapped her arms around her to comfort her. Shiro slid down the wall, holding his head as his tears flowed wildly.

"Our brother was murdered... please don't ask any further about it." Karin asked, sounding calm but Shiro was the only one who could hear the hurt in her voice. Shiro grabbed the knife off of the bed and quickly tore his shirt off. He deserved this... he knew he did. He wanted to feel the pain he caused the one he had loved so dearly regardless that he wouldn't feel as much. He had once accused the berry of not having a heart... well he was truly the heartless one. And it was about time he proved it.

He wasn't sure how much pain he would feel so he held his breath just in case as he stabbed himself in the chest. The pain was immense and even though it was only half of what he would have felt if he was alive... only half of the pain Ichigo had felt... it was still the worst physical pain he had ever felt. But he had to continue... forcing the knife deeper past his rib cage, he couldn't help but to release the cry that had crawled up his throat.

"Shiro?" Orihime's panicked voice called as she rushed for him but he quickly slammed the door and locked it. "Shiro! Shiro, open the door!" she pleaded, obviously completely panicked.

"Get them out of here!" he yelled back.

"Who else is in there?" Karin asked, now at the door as well.

"When I figure out what's going on, I'll try to explain at school tomorrow. Please leave." Orihime rushed still trying to open the door. He didn't have much time. As soon as Orihime got them out, she would pick the lock like she's had to do plenty of times but she wouldn't do it with them here. Shiro pulled the knife out and groaned in pain. "Are you cutting yourself again? Open this door right now!"

"Whatever's going on here, we can help. We've worked in our hospital with our dad and-" Shiro interrupted Karin, letting out a small shriek as his hand plunged into his chest, feeling around for his own heart, completely convinced that he wouldn't find anything.

"Please!" Orihime yelled, more as an order then a request.

"Karin come on." Yuzu pleaded. "Please."

"We can help! We can help!" Karin yelled as her twin pulled her away. Now he really had no time. Orihime's footsteps rushed away and came back a moment later. No time left. The door swung open and he quickly wrapped his fingers around the first thing that he could before the red head knelt in front of him and pulled on his bloody arm.

"Shiro please stop! Why are you doing this to yourself?" she shouted, still trying to pull his hand out of his chest.

"I did this! I hurt them! Those were my sisters Ori! My _sisters_! They were able to live just fine without me but I took Ichigo from them! I took everything from them-left them with nothing! I _deserve_ this!"

"No... you... _don't_!" Orihime yelled, finally pulling his hand out on the last word.

"Hey what do you know..." Shiro trailed off, looking down so the red head followed his glance to see that in his blood covered hand was his non beating heart.

"Now why'd you do that?" she sighed.

"You told me that you seen something in this, well what do you see now?" Shiro yelled, holding his heart up to her face.

"Ew Shiro knock it off!" she exclaimed, trying to push it away but Shiro only persisted.

"You know what I see? I see a bloody fucking clump of muscle that doesn't even fucking work! What do _you_ see in this? What could you... ever... see in this? In me?" he asked, his voice lowering as he began to cry. She looked at him worried as if unsure of what to say. Leaning forward. she gently wiped his tears away.

"Ichi wants to see your smile... not your tears."

"You always say that..." Shiro mumbled, helping to rid his eyes of water.

"That's because it's true." Shiro looked down at his heart, watching as it lay motionless and cold in his hand and sighed. He hated being dead. He hated being able to tear his own heart out to stare at it and still be "alive". The worst of the pain had dulled but a new pain of guilt formed in it's place.

"I... I'm sorry Orihime..." she looked puzzled so he continued. "I kissed Ulquiorra..." her eyes widened and slightly watered. "But it meant nothing-I swear! I love you! I love only you!" she looked away as a few tears escaped her eyes. "Ori I am _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to, I meant for it to be you." her eyes snapped to his in shock. "That was the surprise I had for you earlier." the white being, looked down at his heart again before standing up. He didn't want to see her cry, he didn't want to hear her sobs... and he didn't want to hear her say that it was okay when it wasn't. "I'm really sorry Orihime... for that... and for even doing this..." he trailed off, gesturing to his open chest. "Here..." he held his heart out for her and she took it, looking up at him confused. "It's always been yours." with that, he looked down at the crimson covered girl and turned to leave. "I'll clean the mess up when I get back, I shouldn't be gone too long."

"Shiro!" he turned around to face her again as she threw her arms around him. "Please don't go-I love you and can't live without you!"

"Ori..." Shiro trailed off, not know what else to say or do. All he was sure about was that he wouldn't leave because she asked him to stay.

* * *

><p>The two sat in silence as Orihime stitched his wrist and chest up. Shiro had told her to keep his heart out but she refused, saying that if anybody saw it, there would be trouble. They had cleaned up the bloody mess in the room and changed into the clothes that they did all the stitching in. Shiro's being nothing but his black boxer briefs and Orihime's being dark blue, jean short shorts and a red tang top with her hair pulled back.<p>

"Alright, all done." she said, ridding Shiro's snow white skin of the crimson liquid that invaded it's surface. "Don't to it again and if you do, at least wait until your blood runs dry again so there's not a giant mess to clean up." Shiro just nodded, looking back into their room, only faintly being able to see the blood stain on the floor. "Are you alright?" Orihime asked concerned, catching his attention again.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine." he said as he sat up on the floor, playing with the soft carpet beneath his fingers.

"Are you sure?" he nodded. They fell into awkward silence as they say there, not knowing what to do.

"Uh... thank you... Orihime..." he said nervously as he traced the new web pattern stitching on his chest.

"Did... did you really mean it when you said that your heart has always belonged to me?" she asked, blushing fiercely.

"Of course I meant it, I love you." he replied calmly. The girl leaned forward to wrap her arms around him.

"I love you too." she whispered softly. Shiro returned her hug, running his fingers through her hair and taking in her wonderful scent. He sighed and pushed her away just enough to connect their lips. His red head pressed harder into the kiss, unsure of what to do with her lack of experience though she was the happy that her first kiss was with Shiro, the man she loved. Shiro pushed his red head back until he was laying on top of her, never pulling out of the kiss. When Orihime felt his tongue run along her bottom lip, she parted them to allow him entrance. Shiro quickly and easily made his dominance known to the younger girl before just playing with her, giving her time to experience the new actions. Orihime pushed him away slightly so she could breathe. "Just... because you... don't need to breathe... doesn't mean that I don't." she panted and Shiro smiled.

"I love you Orihime Inoue." after hearing that, the girl seemed to lose her breath though it was already gone. She pulled him down into another kiss. She unconsciously moaned when one of his cold hands ran under her shirt, over her nicely tanned skin. Shiro mapped out her lower torso before lifting her up slightly to unhook her bra and parted their mouths as he cupped her breast so she could let out a long drawn moan that turned him on. He took her shirt and bra off and slid his hands farther down to pull her shorts off. She wrapped her arms around his neck and arched her back when he went under her underwear to play with her. He chuckled at her lust filled expression and pulled her long hair free of the pony tail that held it.

Shiro lowered himself to bite her neck, causing her take in a sharp breath in pain when he broke skin, at the same time, slipping a finger into her. Sucking blood out of her body, Shiro marveled at her wonderful taste and wondered what part of her would taste even better. Dieing to find out, he pulled away from her neck to run his tongue down the girl's neck and chest to her breasts. He listened to his girl moan in pleasure as he sucked on one of her nipples and pushed a finger in and out of her. She took in another sharp breath when he added a second finger, beginning to scissor and stretch her, preparing her for something much bigger though he wasn't fully aroused. The white being watched his lover's face for a minute before grabbing one of her hands, showing it it's way down his chest, stomach, and finally to his groin.

Orihime opened her eyes to look into Shiro's lust filled one's and blushed deeply as she took the hint and started rubbing him through boxers. Shiro added a third finger, wanting to get her prepared as fast as possible. When the girl's face finally lost it's slight pained look, he removed his fingers and gained a groan of protest from the woman under him. He chuckled at that but moved her hand so he could take his boxer briefs off. Noticing he wasn't fully up yet, he refused to take Orihime's virginity without being at his best. He wanted to show her everything, give her everything, make her so engulfed in lust and pleasure that she couldn't tell the difference between the sky and the ground. He lowered his mouth over the red head's entrance, running his tongue over and in it, tasting her precum. It wasn't as good as her blood but it was pretty damn close. As he sucked on her, he also pumped himself, something he did quite often but whenever he did it, he made sure Orihime was at school or somewhere else and thankfully he's never gotten caught.

"Mmm... Shiro please... ah... put it in." his Ori moaned looking down at him with pleading eyes. He sat up to position himself at her entrance, slowly and teasingly rubbing it with his now fully hardened length. "Ahh... Shiro..." slowly he pushed in and she tensed around him, grunting in pain until he was fully in. He moaned at the wonderful feeling he had missed for fourteen years. It had been much too long and even longer since he's had a virgin, he had forgotten how the tightness pushed him further. "M-move..." Orihime's shaky voice said, interrupting his thoughts. She was adjusted already? He slowly moved in and out of her, slowly picking up speed, enjoying all the little sounds and noises his red head made. "Oh god, faster Shiro!" she exclaimed, grabbing onto his arms which he had placed at either of her sides to keep him up.

"Already? You're adapting to this a lot faster than anyone else I've fucked, Ichi even." he commented though his words most likely didn't reach her. He spread her legs further, lifted them up more, and scoot closer to her for better access. Guessing he didn't have to play nice for her anymore, he set a strong and brutal pace, making the girl cry out even more.

"Ah-ah! S-Shiro! Mmm... ah... oh god please don't stop, don't stop!" she shouted in ecstasy. Shiro hit her sweet spot and she cried louder. "There! Right there!" Shiro smirked as he thrust into her over and over again, hitting that spot every time. Burning heat slowly filled the girl, knowing what it meant when it was at it's hottest, she figured she ought to tell her lover. "S-S... Shiro I'm-" she cried out loudly as she came, tightening around Shiro's member, throwing him over the edge as well with a loud moan, cumming deeply inside of her. Panting Orihime pulled him down into a long, deep kiss that set her insides on fire again. "I... I love you Shiro..." she said as they parted.

"I love you too Ori... I love you too." Shiro returned her smile before kissing her again. "Get some sleep kid, you've got school in the morning." Orihime groaned in disapproval. The white being chuckled and pulled out of her.

"No, no... please just a little longer." she pleaded and Shiro nodded, slipping back into her but stayed still once fully in. Moving now would be too much on her tomorrow. But when it came to what she wanted... he would do anything. He's already torn out his heart and given it to her but there was one thing that he refused to do... and he knew he would never have to, she even told him not to. And that was leave her.

Once the girl had fallen asleep, he pulled out of her again and carefully carried her to bed where he cleaned her off and pulled the blankets over her. He kissed her forehead before cleaning himself off and sliding into the bed next to her. As if sensing that he was there she instantly cuddled with him and he held her, smiling. A sudden thought nearly sent him in a fit of laughter but he remained quiet so not to wake his beloved. After he calmed down he whispered more to himself as he stroked her hair.

"You necrophiliac..."

* * *

><p><em>Forgive me now 'cause I have been unfaithful<em>  
><em>Don't ask me why 'cause I don't know<em>  
><em>So many times I've tried but was unable<em>  
><em>This heart belongs to you alone<em>

_Now I'm in our secret place_  
><em>Alone in your embrace<em>  
><em>Where all my wrongs have been erased<em>  
><em>You have forgiven<em>

_All the promises and lies_  
><em>All the times I compromise<em>  
><em>All the times you were denied<em>  
><em>You have forgiven<em>

_Forgive me I'm ashamed, I've loved another_  
><em>I can't explain 'cause I don't know<em>  
><em>No one can take your place and there is no other<em>  
><em>Forever yours and yours alone<em>

_Now I'm in our secret place_  
><em>Alone in your embrace<em>  
><em>Where all my wrongs have been erased<em>  
><em>You have forgiven<em>

_All the promises and lies_  
><em>All the times I compromise<em>  
><em>All the times you were denied<em>  
><em>You have forgiven<em>

_I get down on my knees_  
><em>Feel your love wash over me<em>  
><em>There will never be another<em>  
><em>You're the only one forever<em>  
><em>And you know, I'm yours alone<em>

_I'm in our secret place_  
><em>Alone in your embrace<em>  
><em>Where all my wrongs have been erased<em>  
><em>You have forgiven<em>

_All the promises and lies_  
><em>All the times I compromise<em>  
><em>All the times you were denied<em>  
><em>You have forgiven<em>

_You have forgiven_  
><em>Forgiven, forgiven<em>  
><em>Forgiven, forgiven<em>  
><em>Forgiven, forgiven<em>  
><em>Forgiven<em>

* * *

><p>Will there be a bad consequence for their actions that turns good... or vice-versa? Review and find out next chapter! XD<p> 


	11. Trouble to Come

As everybody must know by now, contestantnumber2 has been a huge inspiration for me on this story, I love you and keep up the great work.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fade Away or Breaking Benjamin but sometimes I feel like I don't own... well... anything... sometimes I feel like I'm nothing but a worthless nobody... *curls up into a ball*  
>Shiro: A worthless nobody that doesn't own Bleach. *smirks*<br>Me: *turns to glare at him* You know, I'm the author of this fan fiction so I could do whatever I want to you and there are worse things than death... *smirks back*  
>Shiro: O_O<p>

* * *

><p>Shiro couldn't think... his mind was just too clouded and missed having his girl in his arms already but there was one thing he was sure of. He was happy.<p>

"I'm so tired..." Orihime groaned, walking back into the room. She had gotten up to go to the bathroom after turning her alarm clock off.

"That's cause you wanted it hard. Welcome back, I missed you." he smiled up at her, holding the blankets up for her. She smiled back and crawled back in.

"Can't I just call in sick?" she asked tiredly into his chest.

"No. You're not in high school anymore Ori, this collage."

"You missed me the moment I left so what are you going to do all day without me?" she teased before kissing him.

"Good point, I might have to kidnap you." they kissed again as Shiro rolled on top of her. As they continued to kiss, Shiro slowly ran a hand down the girl's bare body to lift her legs up to his waist.

"Shiro I've got to get ready." Orihime objected, pulling out of the kiss.

"Just a quicky?" he suggested, nipping at her neck.

"I'm already-ah!" Shiro quickly pulled away, knowing that he had bitten her too hard. He was relieved to see that she wasn't blooding but he still felt bad.

"Sorry..." he kissed the red mark on her neck softly and then her lips apologetically.

"I'm alright, it doesn't hurt anymore." the girl insisted.

"Alright... when you get home you have no excuse though." he smirked, getting off of her.

"I don't plan on making any." she teased, getting back out of bed to start getting dressed. Shiro felt physically tired but mentally he was racing, feeling for the first time as if his heart was beating again.

'Maybe I'll tell her that one day.' he thought, rolling over to face the wall, hiding the wide grin on his face from his red head.

* * *

><p>About half an hour later, she came back to him, telling the dark berry that it was time to go. He groaned in disapproval.<p>

"Come on Shiro, I took it all. I'm really sore and I'm still moving."

"Yeah but I did all the work." he shot back playfully, rolling over again to see her. The teen was wearing dark skinny jeans, a white shirt that clung to her curves so gorgeously though the sleeves were lose and wavy over a black and red tang top, black flats, a few silver bracelets on each wrist, and a pure black choker. She smiled down at him with a wide, sweet smile. He threw the blankets and got up. Orihime staring at him the entire time while he walked to the dresser to slip some pants on. They may have had sex but the girl hadn't actually seen him. "Alright let's go." he spoke, taking her hand after slipping his feet into his shoes.

"You're not gonna put a shirt on?" Orihime asked as they started to leave.

"Nah what's the point? I'm just gonna come back home and take it off." Shiro pulled out his phone when it went off, playing one of the default ringtones while Orihime locked the door.

"Very true. Who's that?" she asked, taking his hand again.

"Ul..." he said more as a question before answering. "Hello?"

"Are you free today?" he asked bluntly.

"Uh..." he looked at Orihime for a minute then smiled. "No not today."

"Then what do you do all day when Orihime is at school?" he asked coldly now. Something was wrong.

"Fine but I need to be to the campus ten minutes before Ori gets out."

"Fine."

"So where are we meeting?"

"At the gates where you drop Orihime off." Shiro sighed.

"Fine." he hung up. He didn't want to do anything today but lay down and conserve his energy for another amazing round with his lover.

"So you and Ulquiorra-san are spending the day together?" Orihime asked happily and he sighed again.

"Seems like it. I can tell that there's something wrong with him and he helped me so it's only fair if I help him." she just smiled and they walked the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

><p>When they finally came up to the school, Shiro instantly noticed Ulquiorra standing by the brick wall that he usually leans against while he waits for Orihime.<p>

"Hey! Ulquiorra-san!" the red head exclaimed, waving and the raven lazily wove back though his eyes never left Shiro. When they came up to the gate, Orihime hugged Shiro saying goodbye and just when she was about to pull away to leave, the darkness wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close for a long kiss. When they finally parted, her face was bright red and Shiro just laughed which made her blush harder.

"Get on to class kid." he smiled, running his hand down her side. She nodded slowly and turned to leave, holding her face to try and hide the red. Shiro smirked before turning to the raven.

"So you two are together?"

"Is it that obvious?" Shiro asked sarcastically though the smile never left his face. The white raven turned to walk away from the school so Shiro followed. "So what's wrong?"

"Who said anything was wrong?"

"I did." the darkness said irritatedly. He never answered.

* * *

><p>Neither of them said anything until they arrived at the graveyard. Shiro sighed but knew what the other was looking for so just went right to it. Laying across the four graves like usual, Ulquiorra sat at his side, reading each grave, knowing who they were from Shiro's story.<p>

"So really, what's going on?" Shiro asked seriously and the raven sighed.

"Harribel went to visit Nel last night... she's getting released next week."

"And she's... coming after me right?" the raven nodded. "Well I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I'll be fine don't worry about me, I'm already dead remember?" he nodded again though still looked a bit sad. "Come on, what's wrong? You helped me, it's only fair that I return the favor." he sighed deeply, not looking up at him.

"It's just that..." he trailed when Shiro's phone started to play his redhead's ringtone.

"Hey what's-"

"Shiro someone brought a gun to school, he's holding us all hostage, I can hear police sirens outside but they're not coming in." the girl rushed in a whisper and Shiro sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Alright stay calm, just like we practiced when you were younger, I'll be there in a minute." he said, standing up and started walking, Ulquiorra following close behind.

"Please hurry..."

"I will. Now hide your phone so he doesn't see it and stay away from the windows. No matter what he says, don't move."

"Okay..."

"What class our you in?" he handed the phone to Ulquiorra who quickly took it and held it to his ear, putting the pieces together of the situation. When he handed the phone back, he nodded at Shiro, understanding what he wanted him to do when they go to the school. "Alright hide your phone and when he's not looking, turn the volume all the way up."

"Okay..." her quite voice shook with fear. He was so gonna beat this guy to a bloody fucking pulp.

"Hey... I love you." he said sincerely, trying to calm her.

"I l-love you t-too." he hung up, the less time they spent talking the better the changes were of not getting caught. The two started running, not saying a word. It only took them a little over two minutes to get there, there were a lot of cops that surrounded the school, keeping the viewers back.

"I sure picked a good day to skip..." Ulquiorra mumbled to himself.

"Which window leads into her class?" Shiro asked hurriedly as they approached the crowd. The white raven looked over all of them and pointed to one.

"Fourth floor, third window to the left."

"Are you positive?"

"Yes."

"Alright stay here and when I motion you to, call Orihime." Shiro called back to him as he started pushing his way through the crowd. He was now glad that he hadn't put a shirt on this morning, it would've only gotten in the way but it made his black stitches clearly visible. When he came to the police stop, there was a man in uniform in front of him that told him to get back... he was a bit farther up than everyone else but he took a deep breath and placed a hand on the man's shoulder before throwing his weight over the man. When he landed on his feet behind the cop, people started yelling in amazement and he darted towards the building, skillfully avoiding anyone that tried to grab him. Three more cops stood before him and the building. The first lunged at him but the dead berry spun himself left, avoiding the grab and processed forward. The second did the same thing but Shiro placed a hand on his head, pushing himself off of the man, forcing him to the ground. The last smirked and prepared himself like a football player but the white being wasn't intimidated whatsoever. Just as he was about to come in contact with the big man, he threw himself down, sliding feet first between his legs. "Later." he called as he somersaulted to get back up easier before continuing to run. When he came up to the building, he jumped as high as he could and grabbed hold of one of the bricks that it was made out of, quickly pulling himself up and climbing higher before anyone could even try to pull him down.

He got up to the second floor, there was a strip of smooth brick with nothing to hold onto. Luckily he had already seen this and made a plan. He positioned his legs on the building in front of his chest and let go as he pushed off the building. He heard a few people scream, thinking he was going to fall and die but his hand caught a thick branch on a tree that was at least a good ten feet away. In one fluent motion, he swung himself around the branch, landing on the top of it before hurrying farther up the large tree. When he came to the top of the tree, Orihime's window was still one up and the bricks were still smooth but there was another window beneath it that lined up with it. He jumped, using his legs for more power to go farther and caught the window ledge. Pushing himself up, he seen that there was no one in that room so he stood up on it's ledge and held onto the smaller ledge above it. Shiro pulled himself up slightly and lowered himself down down few times as if he was doing pull ups, breathing deeply with each pull.

He finally pushed off of the ledge, thrusting himself up and his fingers touched the bottom ledge that he was trying to get to but they didn't have enough space to grab onto it and he started to fall, people started screaming again. As he fell, he started turning but ran his foot against the building to straighten himself out again but was now upside down. As he came to the window he had used to push off of, he grabbed it again, his weight still trying to pull him down hard, he heard a few loud cracks and his entire arm hurt. He must have broken it in several places but pulled himself up to sit on the ledge. He let out a sigh of relief that he was able to grab it, falling so fast. That fall would've been so fucking painful even for him. Looking down at everyone below, he seen that they were cheering. He couldn't help a small smile from showing on his lips but got back to business and held his breath, looking away as he grabbed his arm. It might not be as bad but this was still going to hurt like Hell. He yanked his arm forward and everything in his arm shifted back into place. He squeezed his eyes shut and screamed in his mind and took a few deep breaths as the pain slowly eased.

"Are you okay mister?" a little girl's voice yelled and Shiro looked down to find her in the crowd. A small hand waved and he figured that it was her. She was about eight years old with dark brown hair and big green eyes. He smiled, she reminded him of Orihime when she was that age. His redhead who he really needed to get to.

"Yeah I just broke my arm but it's fine now, see?" he shouted back with a reassuring smile as he rotated his arm. Standing back up, he prepared for another try but stopped and turned back around when the girl's voice called to him again.

"Why are you doing this?"

"My girlfriend's in there." he called, pointing up at the window above him. There was enough screaming and yelling coming from that room and from below him that he knew that the guy with the gun wouldn't be able to hear him over everyone else. "She's really scared and she asked me for help. When I first met her I promised that I would never let anything bad happen to her. This is me keeping a promise." he called and turned back around to prepare himself with new confidence. 'That's right, you promised. Now it's time to get her.'

"You can do it!" the little girl's voice yelled and Shiro turned his head to see her. Soon everyone was chanting that he could do it. He smiled and looked away. Why did this feel so good? Taking one last deep breath, he lunged himself up and again and this time caught the ledge, everyone burst into cheers. Shiro's eyes widened when he heard footsteps coming his way from inside the room. He quickly lowered one of his hands into the small gap between the two bricks that formed the ledge so that his hand wouldn't be seen before pointing down at Ulquiorra who already had his phone in hand. He sighed in relief when the footsteps turned at the sound of a song.

"Who's phone is that? Who's fucking phone is that?" the guy yelled in panic. This was the fun part. Shiro used his feet again to push off the building but didn't let go of the ledge, causing him to flip up, his feet coming into contact with the window, shattering it to allow him entrance into the room. Some of the people screamed, covering their faces but Shiro quickly looked for the man with the gun, easily finding him since he was right in front of him, the gun was pointed to him but he grabbed the mans arm and turned it to a wall where no one was standing before he pulled the trigger, causing more people to scream. The dead boy was pulled closer so that his back was to the others chest with the gun pointed at his head. Before the man could say anything, Shiro elbowed him in the face hard three times before flipping him over his shoulder and kicked him in the face as hard as he could when he hit the ground. That was for Orihime.

"Stay down!" Shiro yelled at him before taking the silver revolver from him. He looked around for a moment as the students stood too shocked to move in complete silence. "Ori..." he looked around but he didn't see her. "Orihime? Has anyone-" he stopped when he felt arms wrap around him from behind and turned around to meet the girl's embrace. She cried into his chest and he just held her. "It's okay Ori... you're safe now... I'm here." he assured her, tilting her head up to kiss her gently. "I'm here." he promised as they parted. he looked back at everyone else who were staring at them. He noticed that the door had a chain around the handles and a lock holding them together tightly. Shiro carefully led the shaking girl to the window where he displayed the gun to everyone. "Anyone want it?" he called jokingly and everyone cheered for the hero. '_Hero_... what an odd name for me.' he thought as he watched police rush into the building. He walked with Orihime to the door and with one kick, forced it open and everyone ran out as fast as they could. Shiro kept one arm wrapped around his girl protectively and with the other, grabbed the culprit, dragging him along as they left. When they finally got outside, they were surrounded by reporters, all asking a million questions at once.

"Sir what were you thinking when you went up there?"

"I have anxiety and I hate people, would you mind backing the fuck off?" he growled at everyone. A police officer with blond hair and a wide grin that should've split his face in two long ago approached them and made everyone back up. "Sure took ya long enough..." he said annoyed as he threw the man he had dragged down here at him. "There's your new prisoner." Shiro started to lead Orihime away. "When he wakes up, giving him my regards, tell him I hope his cell mate is a pimp who ass fucks him everyday for the rest of his miserable life."

"Will do Mr..." the cop trailed off, indicating that he wanted a name. Shiro stopped and Orihime looked back at the man then to Shiro.

"I have no name that is a concern to you." he responded evilly, not looking back. Ulquiorra walked up to them and put his hand on his shoulder, telling him that it would be best if they leave. So they did. It wouldn't take Shiro too long to take Orihime's shock away, she was already starting to get over it just from being near him.

* * *

><p><em>I'm cold and broken <em>

_It's over I didn't want to see it come to this _  
><em> I wonder if I will ever see your face again <em>  
><em> And I know that I will find a way to shed my skin <em>  
><em> It's simple I know that I will suffer in the end <em>

_Fast I fade away _  
><em> It's almost over <em>  
><em> Hold on <em>  
><em> Slow I suffocate <em>  
><em> I'm cold and broken <em>  
><em> Alone <em>

_It's hopeless, the end will come and wash it all away _  
><em> Forsaken, I live for those I lost along the way <em>  
><em> And I can't remember how it all began to break <em>  
><em> You suffer, I live to fight and die another day <em>

_Fast I fade away _  
><em> It's almost over <em>  
><em> Hold on <em>  
><em> Slow I suffocate <em>  
><em> I'm cold and broken <em>  
><em> Alone <em>

_Fast I fade away _  
><em> It's almost over <em>  
><em> Hold on <em>  
><em> Slow I suffocate <em>  
><em> I'm cold and broken <em>  
><em> Alone <em>

_I'm cold and broken_

* * *

><p>Yayz another chapter ^-^ Iz so proud of myself! *hugs self* I hope everyone liked it, it was just a stupid little filler but oh well right? *hugs contestantnumber2* Thankz youz for youz help! *suddenly pulls away and she falls off a cliff* *looks down* Ah she'll be fine. *waves it off, turning back to the camera* Well my lovely, lovely viewers, yes, you. *points at camera* You're just sitting there... sitting there at your computer... you potato... I like potatoes... they're best raw with a touch of salt. Are you best raw with a touch of salt? ;P Please review, I hope you're enjoying it so far and I really hope that you'll stay with me. See you all next chapter! *waves as I run away to go type more*<p> 


	12. Who Will Understand?

**_BOOM! Guess who's back? SUKI'S BACK! Suki's back with a BOOM!_**

Disclaimer: I do not own "Give me a Sign" or Breaking Benjamin  
>Me: So as you all know, Shiro and I are having a little debate on whether or not I own Bleach.<br>Shiro: She doesn't.  
>Me: I do.<br>Shiro: No you don't.  
>Me: Yes I do.<br>Shiro: No you don't!  
>Me: Silence! I keel you! (I do not own Achmed or Jeff Dunham)<p>

* * *

><p>As Shiro opened his eyes again to check the time, they widened as he shot up.<p>

"Ori get up!" he shouted, shaking the sleeping girl who woke with a start. "Come on Orihime get up it's already four o'clock!" he jumped out of bed, starting to pull some clothes on.

"It is?" the shocked girl exclaimed, checking the clock before following Shiro's actions. They had sex last night followed by another round when the red head woke up that morning so that they would both be tied over until her uncle left who would be here within the next hour! They needed to clean up, hide every trace of Shiro's being there, and then get him out. Knowing the man would be early, they really had to hurry. They had just gotten everything clean and were nearly done with hiding all of Shiro's things when there was a knock on the door. Both of their heads shot to the clock.

"Shit! This is early for even him!" Shiro whispered to his girlfriend angrily and she nodded in agreement, looking worried. Another knock, louder this time. "I gotta go try to make sure that he doesn't see what's left of my stuff." Shiro whispered as he pulled a shirt over his head before kissing Orihime, telling her to call when he left. He walked into their bedroom to grab his backpack when one of the worst things that could possibly happen... happened.

"Shiro I know you're in there!" said darkness froze at the sound of his sister's voice on the other side of the door. Shiro and Orihime shared fearful looks.

"What should we do?"

"I don't know..." he mumbled, trying to think. He could tell that she was pissed off and knew she wouldn't listen to him. Looking at the time, Shiro's eyes widened. They were out of time! He rushed over to the door, yanked it open, pulled her in, and slammed the door shut just as a car rolled up to the house.

"Shi-"

"I need you to shut up Karin. Please." Shiro begged, dragging her into the nearest closet. She struggled against him, trying to yell through the hand that covered her mouth tightly. "Shhh please Karin be quiet. _Please_." there was a knock on the door. "I'll tell you everything if you just please be quiet and hold still." he pleaded as Orihime opened the door.

"Hi Uncle Ishida!" the red head cheered, throwing her arms around him.

"Hello Orihime. How have you been?" he asked coming in. Karin continued to struggle and since she was now bigger than he was, it was getting hard to hold her. She elbowed him in the ribcage and it threw him off and before he could recover, he found himself falling. He grunted when Karin landed on top of him. He looked up to see Orihime and a man with bluish black hair wearing glasses staring at them.

"What the Hell are you doing?" Karin yelled, climbing to her feet. Shiro chuckled nervously as he too stood, rubbing the back of his head.

"Uh... hello Ishida, I'm Shiro Kurosaki. I really didn't plan on meeting you like this... uh..."

"What the Hell is going on?" Karin yelled again, throwing a fist at him but he caught it and continued to ignore her.

"Please don't mind my sister, she's very upset right now." he looked at his lover. "Sorry to leave you with all the explaining Ori but I gotta take care of her." he said nodding toward the other girl.

"It's okay Shiro..." she said, looking up at her speechless uncle. "Just don't take too long..."

"I'm still here you know!"

"I'll try." he answered before dragging his sister towards the door. "I'm really sorry to leave like this Ishida but I have to go." with that, he left, dragging his sister behind him.

**... ... ... ... ...**

"How the Hell are you alive?" Karin yelled, following her brother she believed to be dead.

"I'm not alive." he said simply, not turning around to see her as he continued to walk towards the graveyard.

"You're standing in front of me aren't you?"

"Doesn't mean I'm alive."

"But-"

"I'm dead Karin. You saw what I did to myself. How I'm still walking around, I'm just as clueless as you but I am." he turned into the graveyard and she followed, going quiet. He sighed as he sat down and leaned against his own tombstone. "The other day, I tore my own heart out just to see how Ichi felt..." he looked at said Berry's grave. "It hurt like Hell... but I know it hurt him more..."

"Why? Why did you do it?" he looked back at the dark haired girl.

"He was cheating on me and I got a little... a lot obsessed."

The two sat in an eerie silence as Karin tried to take in the story she was just told.

"There's no way... there's just no way..." she mumbled more to herself as she curled into a ball on the grass to hold her head.

"I know it's hard to believe but I'm here in front of you aren't I?"

"But... you... you're dead... you can't be here..."

"I am dead Karin. Look at me. Fourteen years have passed and I haven't aged a day."

"But..."

"Karin." her older/younger brother called, grabbing her wrists. "Listen to me-"

"No!" she yelled, shoving him away to stand up. "That's such shit! It's too crazy! How do you expect me to believe that?" he remained quiet. It was crazy... if he hadn't lived it for nearly a decade and a half, he wouldn't believe it either.

"Karin-"

"NO!" she screamed. "Whoever you are, you're not Shiro! Your story is ridiculous and I don't believe it so stop pretending!" she turned her heel and stormed off. "My brother -both of my brothers- are dead and in the ground beneath you and that's that!"

"You think I don't know that?" he yelled back and she stopped. "I know better than anyone because I'm the one that put them there!" she spun around too face him again.

"You're not scaring me so stop trying! It's not gonna work!" she cried, her strength failing her to allow tears to fall from her eyes. Shiro's eyes widened and he stayed put as she ran off. He punched the ground and bit into the flesh on his hand to keep from screaming.

"Are you alright?" a calm voice asked and the darkness turned to see Ulquiorra walking up to him, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

"What are you doing here?" he questioned as he rubbed his eyes just in case they had teared up.

"I just came to drop these off for my best friend and I stumbled upon your little episode with your sister." the Espada explained, gesturing to the flowers. Seeing that the other wasn't wearing a jacket, he took his off and tossed it to him before placing the flowers on his grave. "Put it on and pull the hood up." the pale man spoke quickly as he grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet.

"Why should I-"

"Put it on and let's go." he demanded. Shiro growled but obeyed, knowing it must be important if he's this worked up. As they exited the gates of the cemetery, a car pulled up and parked. "Keep your head down." Ulquiorra whispered and Shiro's eyes widened as he put the pieces together.

_"...she's getting released next week."_

"She's got out early didn't she?" the other didn't answer as they passed the car. Shiro looked back just enough to see a full head of green step out of the passenger side. Ulquiorra forced his head forward again so he wouldn't be seen by the girl. His body trembled. He didn't know why but he was scared. He knew the woman would do terrible things... she would dig his life in Hell deeper and send him spiraling down again just when he found solid ground.

**... ... ... ... ...**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shiro snapped once they got to Ulquiorra's house.

"I couldn't. Tier called me about half an hour ago and told me. She said that they were just finishing up getting her unpacked at her place and then they were heading over to the graveyard because Nel said that she wanted to see Yoruichi." he explained quickly. "I knew she would be looking for you though so I got some flowers to place on your grave to see what she did to them and found you there. Do you know how bad that would've turned out if she had seen you?" Shiro looked away, not wanting to thank the man. "Tier would've been forced to believe her story and she would've been pissed. She would've told everyone else and gotten all the Espada on a hunt for the man who killed the former sixth and sent the former third to a mental hospital for ten years-a hunt for _you_." he shouted, concern filling his voice. He didn't bother commenting, he was worried too.

"So what do you suggest I do, huh? Just leave? She'll go after Orihime-"

"She'll go after her anyway!" the two went silent. The demon's eyes softened from their glare when he noticed the others eyes slightly beginning to water. He was really scared that Nel would do something to him. Though was he forgetting that he was already dead?

"Then what do you suggest I do?" Shiro asked after awhile. Ulquiorra looked away as he bit his lip and a single tear fell.

"Leave." Shiro's eyes widened.

"And leave Orihime behind for that bitch to torment? Hell no! Not an option!"

"Then stay here!"

"She'll be more likely to find me here than at Orihime's!" the pale man looked hurt, taking that as rejection.

"Then why don't you just make everything easier and kill her like you did everyone else?" he yelled and Shiro froze before anger overwhelmed him. He spun around and stormed toward the door.

"Fine! I will!" he shouted before leaving.

**... ... ... ... ...**

Shiro burst through the first door, causing Orihime and Uryuu to jump.

"Shiro?" he ignored her and walked into their room and came back out with his/Nel's knife. "Shiro where are you going with that?" Orihime asked, becoming fearful.

"Gonna kill Nel." he answered simply before leaving, slamming the door shut behind him. The door swung open and closed again as the red head stepped out.

"Shiro wait!" she called though the other didn't stop walking. "Don't do it!" she shouted but he ignored her. "If... if you do it I... I won't forgive you!"

"You'll get over it." he called back.

"If you do it..." she was silent for a moment. "Don't come back!" she yelled, tears coursing down her cheeks. He stopped and neither of them spoke or moved for a few minutes before the demon finally turned around and walked back up to her. He didn't stop, instead he walked passed her and back into the house, coming back out a moment later with his things. He paused for a brief moment at the girl's side.

"I won't." he whispered with no regret in his voice before leaving. After he was out of sight, she collapsed to the ground in tears. Her uncle came out and knelt at her side, allowing her to cry on her shoulder. It was time to tell him the whole story.

**... ... ... ... ...**

By the time he got to the graveyard, it was late and had begun to sprinkle. Nel wasn't there... no one was. He stepped up to the graves and looked down at them sadly. Someone... Nel had torn up the flowers Ulquiorra had placed on his grave and onto his tombstone, she had engraved "DIE" into the dark stone. He looked over to see that new, fresh flowers were placed at Yoruichi's grave. He wanted to tear them up to get back at the crazy bitch but that would only be disrespectful be Yoruichi so the idea quickly left his mind. He dropped to his knees and pounded on the damp ground as he yelled out his anger, frustration, and sadness. No matter where he went... no matter how far he ran... no matter where he hid... pain always found him. Nel hadn't even done anything and she was already ruining his life. No... it wasn't even her... it was him. _He_ was doing this to himself... and everyone around him that he loved and cared for. Oh how he wished he could just die already... it'd be better for everyone. They could live normal lives... their souls would stay light, untouched by his darkness, and they would all... none of them would be in danger. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there crying but the light sprinkle had turned into a downpour, making it hard for the demon to tell the difference between the rain... and his tears.

"It's not your fault."

"Shut up!" Shiro yelled, flipping around to see Ulquiorra standing near the gate. His dark jeans seemed darker in the rain and his soaking wet grey long sleeved T-shirt clung to his body, his back hair doing the same to his head. The man's pale face displayed his usual blank stare though his deep green eyes were still filled with the same hurt as they were before. "You don't you me! You don't know anything about me!" he continued. "I'm only here to cause pain-that's _all_ I do! Why can't I just fucking die already?" the raven didn't answer as he walked over to him to sit next to him. "Orihime doesn't want me anymore either... she told me that if I kill Nel then I'm not supposed to come back."

"That doesn't surprise me." Shiro nodded, staring down at the letters carved into his tombstone. "_I_ want you..." Ulquiorra whispered, turning his head to see the others reaction. The demon looked at him but didn't react. This he already knew. The raven leaned in and Shiro kissed him. Not needing to ask, Shiro's tongue rolled over the others as they fought. Each knew their place but they still fought to poise a bit of a challenge to their partner. The kiss was heated and long though it wasn't too arousing and calm. Once they pulled apart, Ulquiorra grabbed the back of the others head and pressed their foreheads together.

"Alright..." Ulquiorra looked him in the eye, his own being confused. "I'll stay with you." hearing this, made the raven smile a soft, warm smile.

* * *

><p>Shiro sighed, starring up at the sky. It had been a long time since he had done this... he was currently sitting on the roof outside of Ulquiorra's window. The other had fallen asleep awhile ago but his mind was too lost to focus on zoning. He had continuously checked the clock and when he saw that only a minute or two had passed, he got frustrated. Finally, he stepped out onto the roof and curled into a ball, looking up at the sky that, for the most part, had cleared. The ground was still wet but it wasn't like he cared about his ass getting wet. Not too many stars were visible and there was only a half moon out but it was all still enough to give the night an eerie glow. Add onto that that the air was still heavy and moist from the previous rain, Shiro thought it was the perfect night to kill someone. Just imagining the look on the person's face that would find her made him chuckle darkly. They would need therapy for life and even then, they'd probably blow their brains out just to rid themselves of the image of the torn up, bloody body that no one would be able to identify. If Nel herself was able to look at her own dead corpse, she wouldn't even be able to tell that it was her. The thought, made the darkness feel better.<p>

"What are you doing up?" Ulquiorra asked as he climbed out the window.

"Can't sleep." he answered, not turning to see him.

"Oh... well music usual helps me, do you want me to turn some on?" Shiro chuckled, shaking his head. "What?"

"I mean, I literally can't sleep."

"Ooohh..." it was quiet for a moment as he moved to sit next to the demon, scooting closer until they were touching to wrap the blanket he had brought out around both of them. "Well don't I feel like a jackass."

"Nah it's fine, don't worry about it." he answered, accepting the blanket and adjusted it. When the raven laid his head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around his waist and rubbed his shoulder as he pulled him closer so that he wouldn't get cold.

"So what are you doing out here anyway?" he asked, snuggling into the darkness regardless of his cold skin.

"Nothing important." he shrugged. "Just plotting against Nel." Ulquiorra chuckled and nodded in understanding. "Do you really think I should kill her? Would that solve anything?"

"I don't know..." they were quiet for quite some time before the raven lifted and turned his head to peck the others lips. "We'll figure it out."

"I just don't want anyone else to-" Ulquiorra kissed his lips, effectively silencing him. Shiro kissed him back, his hand sliding up the raven's arm and neck to grip the back of his head, his fingers tangling into the dark locks. The demon allowed his tongue to roam more than he had before, causing the other to moan against his lips. His grip on his hair tightened as he pressed harder into him. Ulquiorra pushed him back onto his back to climb on top of him, pulling away from his lips to kiss his neck. "Hey wait... wait, wait..."

"What?" the dark haired man asked as he pulled away to see the other.

"I'm not going any farther with you than just kissing. I'm still in love with Orihime and I won't betray her like that regardless that we're split up at the moment." Ulquiorra sighed before rolling off of him.

"I understand." he said sadly.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, curling back up into a ball. He sighed deeply after a few minutes. "Come here." he ordered, holding his arms out for him. Like an injured child, he cuddled into him, his body lightly shaking. Shiro couldn't tell if he was shaking because he was cold, his skin was a little chilled, or if it was because he was trying not to cry. He heard the other sniffle. Maybe it was both.

* * *

><p>I'm sorry Ulqui! I'll make it up to you I promise! You have nothing to worry about, you get-<br>Ichi: *covers her mouth* Hush! You're not supposed to tell him!  
>Grimm: Yeah ya wouldn't want him to be trying to make it happen faster now would ya?<br>Shiro & Ulqui: *share confused glances*  
>Shiro: *eyes widen* Suki you didn't!<br>Ulqui: *smiles, staring off into space*  
>Suki: *smirks and shrugs* I don't know what you're talking about...<p>

Well I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and if you're reading more than one of my fics, I hope you enjoy the entire BOOM Operation. I'll try to post again soon if I'm not too exhausted after doing all of this unstop writing... my brain already hurts... *sighs* But I'll continue to work!


	13. DISCONTINUED

OFFICIAL DISCONTINUE NOTICE

I'm so sorry! I've recently been put on a deadline and I don't have time to finish this though I really wanted to. I'm going to try to finish a few of my other fics that I've got up on here so yeah. I'm really sorry about this but shit happen, you know. I don't have much to say here so *nods* kinda awkward so I'm gonna go. Sorry again.

(I'm so lame, I know! DX )


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